Can you state your purpose?…Or is that not practical enough for you?
To have a purpose is to have resolve, determination, and an intrinsic reason to act. It enables intention to meet action so what you do, has meaning. When someone is clear on their purpose, they have a spring in their step, an air of confidence about them that is powerful, unique and engaging. Without purpose, time can stretch so a moment morphs into a day, and a day bleeds into a week and before you know it, you are chunking time in decades or more, and while a lot has happened most of it wasn’t really intentional. It’s so easy to get caught up in the fast lane that you end up getting carried with the momentum of everybody else…so much so that you forget about purpose altogether. It’s how our brains ensure we survive, like a herd of Wildebeests running from danger, all moving in the same direction to limit their chances of being attacked. Much of society and culture is about moving with the herd to ensure survival. The problem with this? if you do happen to get isolated or marginalised, you’ll need your purpose more than ever.
To have a purpose is to have resolve, determination, and an intrinsic reason to act. It enables intention to meet action so what you do, has meaning. When someone is clear on their purpose, they have a spring in their step, an air of confidence about them that is powerful, unique and engaging. Without purpose, time can stretch so a moment morphs into a day, and a day bleeds into a week and before you know it, you are chunking time in decades or more, and while a lot has happened most of it wasn’t really intentional. It’s so easy to get caught up in the fast lane that you end up getting carried with the momentum of everybody else…so much so that you forget about purpose altogether. It’s how our brains ensure we survive, like a herd of Wildebeests running from danger, all moving in the same direction to limit their chances of being attacked. Much of society and culture is about moving with the herd to ensure survival. The problem with this? if you do happen to get isolated or marginalised, you’ll need your purpose more than ever.
When I talk about purpose it goes beyond the job that you have, the money you earn, the kids you are responsible for or the family you belong to…it’s way deeper than that. It even goes deeper than the compensatory behaviour we all engage in to make up for any perceived injustice that we’ve had to endure (redundancies, divorce, death of a loved one, childhood adversity, family feuds etc.). In most movies, you’ll notice that the protagonist is typically fueled by a desire to seek revenge, find love, gain reputation or protect their family. These are the surface level goals, ambitions, and motivations that they openly share and discuss. Very rarely, however, do they reveal their core purpose, the purpose which provides them with their charm, charisma, and magnetism. The reason for this? They probably haven’t explored what it is so they can’t articulate it. Even if they had, you’d most likely be confused and unimpressed if they revealed it to you!
Your purpose is for you…nobody else
When I help my clients identify and articulate their purpose, it usually doesn’t take very long. In fact, stating your purpose is the easy part, it’s aligning to that purpose that will take the rest of your life. Some people intuitively get this step and quickly grasp the power of being able to tap into an infinite resource of self-determining energy. Others, however, really struggle to make the connection. This article is for those who are struggling with the idea that by connecting to their purpose it will make a positive difference in their lives. If you roll your eyes every time somebody talks about a ‘higher purpose’ or finding their ‘true north’…you’re in good company. I tend to do the same. However, having done the work, I recognise how being able to articulate your purpose permeates everything that you do and in doing so, enhances how you experience the world and how the world experiences you.
A better, more practical question to ask
Two years ago I was working with a leader…let’s call him Jason. Jason managed a small team and his business was doing well. He was young, successful and had everything going for him. He sought me out because he felt like something was missing. He kept telling himself that he should be happier and that things should feel better now that he had achieved his ambition. The truth was, he didn’t feel happy, he wasn’t fulfilled…in fact, he’d never been more miserable. There was nothing wrong…everything was exactly as it should be but for some reason, nothing felt right to him. Jason wasn’t clear on his purpose at all…he lacked that spring in his step, his energy was low and he didn’t hold himself with confidence. We did some work to help him state his purpose and the moment he identified it he deflated like a two-day-old party balloon. Just like his life had failed to meet his lofty expectations, articulating his purpose had only disappointed him further. As part of the coaching program, I also conducted a 360 for Jason. Before receiving any of the feedback, Jason let me know that he didn’t care what other people thought about him. He described how he just got on and did his thing regardless…he didn’t have time to worry about anybody outside his circle of good friends. The logic being that if he offends anybody, his friends ‘get him’ but everybody else would just have to ‘deal with it’. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Jason was less than charming as a leader, and often found himself dealing with staff issues stemming from a backlash to his leadership style. Since his purpose statement wasn’t helping Jason ‘see’ what was blindingly obvious to everybody else, I presented him with the better question to ask “Jason, how do you want people to experience you?….How might they describe you if they truly ‘got’ your intention”. I let him sit with the question for a good minute before he broke the silence. He rattled off a series of adjectives “Wise, easy-going, fun, friendly and….trustworthy”. Not surprisingly, the feedback gathered wasn’t a close match. The words they used to describe their experience of him were “Tense, overly ambitious, serious, and moody” all highlighting some significant gaps in his experience-awareness…(Experience-awareness is sort of like self-awareness but it’s more about taking the perspective of those around you). Like Jason, by seeking feedback you are able to see yourself the way the rest of the world sees you…but be warned, you may not like what you see.
Similarly to Jason, many of us might feel that the best way to be successful is to focus on our goals, ambitions, and wealth creation. These are all great and I fully support chasing them with gusto. I do however caution people about chasing their goals, ambitions and wealth creation without first aligning to their purpose. As it was with Jason, you might achieve all your goals but you will feel hollow and depleted. If however, Jason integrated his goals with how he wants people to experience him, he creates balance and synergy. By turning his focus to how he wants people to experience him Jason must repeatedly ask for feedback, accept that feedback as valid (regardless of how confronting) and decide what he will act upon. I’d love to be able to share with you that Jason succeeded but I can’t. His response to the feedback was “I already knew that’s what they would say…and it confirms that they don’t really know me or get me”. This confirmed that Jason’s experience-awareness was low, and his unwillingness to take responsibility for the experience people were having of him would ensure he would continue to feel unfulfilled.
You shape the experience people have of you
As children, we interact freely with the world. We say what we want when we want. If we don’t get what we want, we cry, throw tantrums and get upset. As children, we see the world from one very self-centred perspective and have very little awareness of how others might be experiencing us. As we grow and learn, we become aware of the impact our behaviour has on others. Some might describe this as having empathy, others might say it’s simply socialisation, I say it’s experience-awareness, a necessary tool to create your personal legacy. I know many people cringe at the word legacy and feel that it’s far too grandiose. What I’m trying to describe is not egotistical at all, rather, it’s an outside-in feedback loop that ensures that your purpose (what’s most important to you) is being experienced in alignment with your intention. I guarantee that you won’t always get it right…perhaps you will never get it right but the pursuit of aligning your intentions with how people experience you will change everything. It enhances your energy, your happiness, your fulfilment, your productivity, your decision making, your relationships, and your leadership. The best thing about this strategy is it’s both selfless and selfish. By turning your focus to how people experience you, you are serving them with a better more empathetic version of who you are, you are also enhancing your wellbeing and every other aspect of your life at the same time.
Bringing it all together
Knowing your purpose so you can articulate it, and align with it, is critical for sustaining your energy, confidence and long term fulfilment. Without it, you are most likely floating along through life like a bubble in the wind, barely noticeable, unsustainable and aimless.
If you’re like most people, you turn to tasks and projects to give you satisfaction and keep you busy. However, focusing on goals alone or ‘What’ you do is going to leave you empty in the long term. Instead, try focussing on ‘How’ you go about achieving those goals. How you lead a team, how you parent a child, how you build a relationship all link back to how you interact with and relate to others.
Purpose can sometimes feel a bit spiritual or impractical for those ‘doers’ amongst us. It’s for this reason that people can sometimes snub it because they just want to ‘kick some goals’ or ‘get stuff done’. If purpose feels a bit lofty or high-level for you, ask yourself a better, more grounded question, “How do I want people to experience me?”.
By matching your intention (how you want people to experience you) with the actual experience people have of you (We figure this out by seeking feedback), you will increase your experience-awareness, fulfilment and wellbeing.
Your purpose energises you to take action while your legacy reflects how that action is experienced or interpreted. If you’re a leader, rather than put this in the ‘too hard basket’ you owe it to yourself and the people around you to take responsibility for how they are experiencing you.
WANT HELP?
Are you looking for support with your purpose or how people experience you? Not clear on what your next steps are? Got someone in mind that you think could benefit from talking with me? I know that making the first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
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CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
Do you 'Serve' or do you 'Save'?
When working in the human services - I’m talking about psychologists, Human resource professionals, counsellors, executive coaches, or social workers- there is a common thread that unifies them all in what they do; to be of service to others. While this sounds fulfilling, and it is, it’s often confused with ‘saving’ others and as you can imagine there is a huge difference.
When working in the human services - I’m talking about Psychologists, Human Resource professionals, Counsellors, Executive Coaches, or Social Workers- there is a common thread that unifies them all in what they do; to be of service to others. While this sounds fulfilling, and it is, it’s often confused with ‘saving’ others and as you can imagine there is a huge difference.
When I was studying my undergraduate psychology degree, I was interested in becoming a clinical psychologist. I was advised along with many of my fellow students to do some volunteer work for Lifeline Australia, a not for profit 24/7 suicide intervention telephone counselling service. I went through the training which was fantastic and still ranks as some of the best development I’ve received as a coach and Psychologist. About a year into my time as a telephone counsellor I started to question whether I was really making a difference. I was answering calls, supporting people but still didn’t feel like it was enough. One evening when I completed a shift, I was doing a debrief with the person that was due to take over and it happened to be the CEO of Lifeline at the time…yep, even the CEO put in the time to serve those in need. It was in the debrief with the CEO that I figured out what I was missing…I wasn’t aiming to serve people I was trying to save people. I’d shared my disillusionment with the CEO and he simply asked “Why are you here right now?” my answer “I want to help save lives…but I feel like I’m not having an impact”. I could tell by the way he looked at me that I was going about it all wrong. Unless I actually saved somebody’s life, I thought my contribution was negligible…..talk about setting myself up for failure!
The truth is, I see many people in leadership roles making the same mistake. Rather than seek to serve people, they are trying to save people which is where it all goes wrong. I speak with a lot of leaders and managers all of whom share a desire to develop people in their teams. Somewhere on the way, their desire to save everybody morphs into a yearning to help anybody which in turn leaves them serving nobody…least of all themselves. I call this the Everybody>Anybody>Nobody rule, and it’s the fastest way to burn yourself out.
Stop trying to save people and start serving
Have you ever heard the saying “You can’t save everybody”? Well, I hear it often and I like to rephrase it to “you can’t save anybody…that part’s up to them”. Of course, I’m not talking about Lifeguards, Doctors, or Paramedics because saving lives is what they get paid to do. I’m talking about well-meaning managers that are trying to make sure everybody is looked after or an HR professional that puts everybody else’s needs first. Ironically, the desire to ‘save’ others is a selfish act driven by a desire to be of value and recognised for such noteworthy contributions. It’s the narcissistic shadow in all of us that wants to be the one that ‘saved’ somebody. People tell me all the time that they want to be an executive coach or counsellor so they can experience those moments when somebody has an epiphany that turns their life around. While it sounds like a great reason to become a coach, it’s not realistic nor sustainable to think that it will occur in every conversation. Similarly, a leader would be a fool to think that they could successfully develop every person that ever works for them. Your role as a coach or leader is to serve those who you work with, which starts by understanding what they most need. How do you figure that out? Ask them! It’s as simple as asking “What do you most need right now?” While they may not always be articulate in their response, it’s a great act of service to help them get clarity.
Don’t be afraid to let them fail
As a parent of four, I’m all too aware of the desire to want my kids to succeed, to see them flourish, be happy and have confidence. While I know that the times in my life where I’ve experienced the most growth have been some of the toughest, I can’t help but steer my kids clear of oncoming obstacles to spare them of unnecessary challenge. Again, this represents a tendency to want to save rather than serve and it’s my desire to save them from failing that stops me from serving them as a supporting father. The same goes for coaches of individuals, managers of teams and CEOs of organisations. If you’re working hard to save people from themselves, then your not serving them as a leader….you need to let go of control and let them fail. There is no substitute for the feeling of something slip through your fingers. Sometimes allowing people to experience that feeling for themselves is the greatest way to serve them…and yourself.
They need to work harder than you
If you’re working harder on them than you are on yourself, there’s something wrong. Equally, if you’re working harder on them they they are on themselves, stop it right now. Your job as a parent, coach, manager or leader is to be there to love, support, serve and inspire. At no point should you be tearing your hair out with frustration at the lack of reciprocity you are receiving. If you find yourself in that situation, rather than continue to push the proverbial uphill, commit to having an honest conversation about what’s not working. Try not to say something like “I feel like you aren’t putting in the work” but rather try asking “What will it take for you to succeed right now?”. Hopefully the question triggers a valuable discussion to get them back on track. If you get an “I don’t know”….or “I’m not sure” that’s your cue to serve them, not save them, and sometimes that means giving them some breathing space to figure out what they need.
WANT HELP?
Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making the first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
Did you like this Article?
If you liked this article, have a look at some of my other articles here or sign-up to my list to receive my articles directly into your inbox each week. If you think someone might like to read them too, simply forward this email on to them.
CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
Unearthing Your Creative Intelligence
A couple of weeks ago I was a guest on James Barrow’s Podcast, the B-side, which is all about finding insights that help unlock your creative potential. We had a great chat covering a large variety of topics which really got me thinking about creative intelligence or the ability to go beyond what you know to create novel and interesting ideas. During the conversation, James asked me to share something that people don’t know about me. My first response was that I’m pretty open and tend to write about my experiences in my weekly blog so there wasn’t much that I hadn’t already shared. That’s when I remembered a whole chapter in my youth that I’d completely forgotten about, one that was all about creative intelligence and inspiration. If you’d like to listen to the whole episode you can find it here.
A couple of weeks ago I was a guest on James Barrow’s Podcast, the B-side, which is all about finding insights that help unlock your creative potential. We had a great chat covering a large variety of topics which really got me thinking about creative intelligence or the ability to go beyond what you know to create novel and interesting ideas. During the conversation, James asked me to share something that people don’t know about me. My first response was that I’m pretty open and tend to write about my experiences in my weekly blog so there wasn’t much that I hadn’t already shared. That’s when I remembered a whole chapter in my youth that I’d completely forgotten about, one that was all about creative intelligence and inspiration. If you’d like to listen to the whole episode you can find it here.
Here is what I shared…
When I was 17, I moved out of home into a share-house with some really intelligent and supportive people. Unfortunately, the change didn’t work out for me and before long I changed schools again and moved back home with my mum in Lismore for my final year at school. I found it difficult to stay focussed on my studies and lost continuity with my classes and fell behind. The only thing that I felt like I wasn’t falling behind in was Art. There was something about the creative process involved in art that fascinated me, I loved the spontaneity of it, the ability to see your own reflection and meaning in the work but most of all, it was a way I could express myself honestly at a time in my life when nothing came easy and I constantly felt frustrated.
Street art was particularly fascinating to me because it was generally done quickly and spontaneously, was usually large scale, and was incredibly unique to the artist. I want to take this moment to clarify that I don’t condone ‘tagging’ which is defacing of public property that you see everywhere that just looks messy and is illegal. I’m talking about brilliant artworks that are created by incredibly creative people in urban settings.
In 1999, a mate and I had an idea to do a mural in Lismore on a wall under the local bridge but wanted to do it legally. We went through an application process and had to pitch our idea to the Mayor at the time. To our surprise, we were granted funding to purchase paint and organise scaffolding so we could get to work on creating the first legal Graffiti mural in Lismore. While it was great, I still felt as though the mural we had created wasn’t spontaneous enough. I wanted to do something more….The Issue was we hadn’t gained approval for a second mural but as far as I was concerned, the wall was big enough for a bunch more murals so it wouldn’t hurt to have a bit more colour splashed around.
I’d decided on my idea and figured Sunday afternoon would be a good time to do it as it was unlikely that anybody would be around at that time. I got to work and let my creative self take over finishing the work within a 30min period. As I stood back to analyse my creation I heard a young woman’s voice call out to me…”Are you the guy that painted the mural?”. Feeling as though I’d been caught I said “yeah…that one” pointing toward the sponsored work that wasn’t yet finished. She was holding a camera and while pointing it at me said: “Do you mind if I take a couple of shots for the local newspaper?”. She took a couple of snaps in front of the wall then I didn’t think much of it. The next day, I was shocked when my mum pointed out a large colour photo of me in the newspaper standing in front of the mural that I’d painted hoping nobody would notice. How wrong I was!
Photo of me in 1999 standing in front of my freshly painted mural.
This is a front-on photo of the finished artwork. The blue writing spells change is if it were melting wax. At the time I was exploring change as the desired outcome as opposed to fear, or stagnant expression.
Technically, the artwork I’d created that Sunday afternoon was illegal but it didn’t matter, within weeks the wall was covered in artworks from numerous artists that now had an opportunity to express their creative intelligence without fear of repercussion. It became a catalyst for unleashing the creative potential for so many others and that’s what I love about honest, spontaneous, creative expression.
Why am I sharing this?
When James asked me to share something about myself that people wouldn’t already know, it jogged my memory about an important aspect of who I am. The art was one element of what was important but the other element was creating a platform for others to express themselves honestly. When I shared my artistic past with James he said: “I always knew there was something creative bubbling away under the surface with you”. I think it’s a shame that I suppressed this part of who I am but am thankful that James unearthed it for me during our chat. I reckon those parts of ourselves that we don’t share because they don’t quite fit with your audience, or they aren’t ‘professional’ are the best bits of us. They are reflective of who we ‘really’ are. It’s these aspects of us that create our identity and enable us to relate in powerful ways to one another. This to me is what creative intelligence is all about.
My Challenge to you
What’s the part of yourself that you’ve hidden away, forgotten about or lost touch with? I want you to take some time this week to reflect on your creative intelligence and what it is. What would it take to bring that back into your world? For me, I thought I’d killed my creative self off but it was less about the art for me and more about the facilitation of honest expression. I write regularly about the importance of expression in leadership and in life. Like I did all those years ago, I hope the questions I pose, the stories I share and the insights I have, all serve you to tap into your creative intelligence and start expressing yourself, fully, honestly, without fear of repercussion.
WANT HELP BUILDING TRUST IN YOUR TEAM?
Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making the first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
Did you like this Article?
If you liked this article, have a look at some of my other articles here or sign-up to my list to receive my articles directly into your inbox each week. If you think someone might like to read them too, simply forward this email on to them.
CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
Toxic Triangles: Why your team keeps failing
When the team was at its worst and I was contemplating my next step, a conversation I’d had with a mentor a few years earlier sprang to mind. I had been explaining to him my challenges with one of my colleagues which most likely sounded like me having a ‘bitch session’. I could see he was growing tired of the conversation so he cut me off by asking “Has this colleague of yours given you a license?”…I replied, “Ummm…sorry, not sure what you mean”. He then said, “The way you are speaking about them, it’s as if they’ve given you a license to talk shit about them”. Realising what he was getting at I said “Yeah…but I’m not sure they are willing to listen to some of my challenges…and it would just turn into an argument anyway”. He replied with “It doesn’t matter, unless you’ve earned your license by having the conversation with them first, bitching and talking crap about each other is toxic for the culture…you’ve got to cut it out”. I was taken aback, I’d never really considered myself to be the bitching type before, but he was right. For the next couple of days, I got really conscious of my behaviour and I noticed how many conversations I was having that I was ‘unlicensed’ to have. I felt terrible, I had unwittingly been part of creating a toxic culture. Having recalled that lesson, here I was again, caught up in a toxic culture where people were talking about each other, not to each other.
Like millions of people, I’ve been fully engaged in the Netflix series ‘The last dance’ featuring the golden years of the Chicago bulls with Jordan, Pippen and Rodman. I was particularly taken by Phil Jackson and his unorthodox coaching style, so much so that I’ve just finished reading his book ‘11 rings’ detailing how he led the Bulls and Lakers to six and five NBA championships respectively. There are so many great leadership principles that Phil references, most of which are based on Zen Buddhist practices. Above all, his efforts aim to create a winning team through moving them to what he calls a stage 5 team which represents “life is great” and the players are moving beyond playing to win but playing for the pure joy of the game.
The Triangle Offence
From a strategic perspective, Phil utilised the ‘Triangle offence’ as a powerful way for the team to score points in an unpredictable, creative and often improvised way. One of the challenges with implementing this strategy is that players often need to sacrifice their own ambition to be the best individual performer in favour of the team’s success. In other words, they need to play as a team, not as a group that are all aiming to get the ball to the best player on the team. When coaching extremely competitive and stupendously gifted players such as Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, this was a significant challenge but Phil Jackson helped both players grow as leaders by trusting their teammates and being more selfless with the ball.
A great team
While I don’t pretend to be an expert in basketball strategy and was only a lukewarm fan at best, I love leadership, team effectiveness and culture so couldn’t help but make a connection with how Phil Jackson masterfully coaches teams to success and what great business leaders do. I cast my mind back to a team that I was working in that felt like (I can only imagine) the 1998 Chicago Bulls. Everything worked like clockwork, we were connected, we trusted one another, and we were really successful. Like any team, there was conflict but it was healthy conflict, the sort of conflict that you can have knowing that people won’t take it as a personal attack but see it as a commitment to the success of the team.
A horrible team
In contrast, I can also recall being on a team that had loads of individual talent and should have been extremely effective but failed to get results due to the absence of trust. In Patrick Lencioni’s ‘Five dysfunctions of a team’, he references the absence of trust as the foundation for the team to be able to achieve results. If the team doesn’t trust one another, everything else falls apart. In this particular team, the trust had eroded so much that team members were speaking poorly about one another to anyone that would listen. The worst perpetrator of the team was none other than the manager! It was clear that the manager had the best of intentions when speaking with the team. The idea was to build trust by bringing each of them into the ‘circle’ so to speak. For a moment, team members felt special (me included) when our manager pulled us aside to confide in us about all the gossip. However, this behaviour created a toxic environment fueled by secret squirrel conversations that served nobody and prevented the team from being effective.
Creating a toxic culture
When the team was at its worst and I was contemplating my next step, a conversation I’d had with a mentor a few years earlier sprang to mind. I had been explaining to him my challenges with one of my colleagues which most likely sounded like me having a ‘bitch session’. I could see he was growing tired of the conversation so he cut me off by asking “Has this colleague of yours given you a license?”…I replied, “Ummm…sorry, not sure what you mean”. He then said, “The way you are speaking about them, it’s as if they’ve given you a license to talk shit about them”. Realising what he was getting at I said “Yeah…but I’m not sure they are willing to listen to some of my challenges…and it would just turn into an argument anyway”. He replied with “It doesn’t matter, unless you’ve earned your license by having the conversation with them first, bitching and talking crap about each other is toxic for the culture…you’ve got to cut it out”. I was taken aback, I’d never really considered myself to be the bitching type before, but he was right. For the next couple of days, I got really conscious of my behaviour and I noticed how many conversations I was having that I was ‘unlicensed’ to have. I felt terrible, I had unwittingly been part of creating a toxic culture. Having recalled that lesson, here I was again, caught up in a toxic culture where people were talking about each other, not to each other.
No triangles
While Phil Jackson used the triangle offence to lead the team to success, I later learned of the ‘No triangles’ strategy to ensure you engage your team and build a high trust culture. It’s as simple and as elegant as the strategy used by Phil Jackson to win 11 championships but it takes hard work, discipline and a commitment from each team member to put aside their personal ambitions in favour of the team. In case you haven’t heard of the ‘No Triangles offence’ it’s really simple. If you’re going to say something about someone, you say it to their face. This goes for both positive and negative comments. Talking crap about people behind their back, using your 1:1 time with your manager to raise issues about another team member, spending time discussing a colleague with other members of your team….not OK.
Fig 1. Toxic Triangle in a team context
For example in fig 1. Employee 1 takes offence to something that employee 2 said to them following a team meeting. Rather than address this directly, employee 1 decides to raise it with their manager. The manager takes on the feedback from employee 1 and feels a responsibility to raise the issue with employee 2. Following the conversation with the manager, employee 2 feels misunderstood and betrayed by employee 1 which makes reconciliation even more difficult.
The number of times I’ve seen this ‘Toxic Triangle’ play out in the workforce is ridiculous and I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share of Toxic Triangles too! The above example is just one way it can occur, there are many different examples of how this could play out within a team or organisation. However, there are two truths that always remain.
The toxic triangle is caused by people not speaking with each other directly.
Regardless of how skilled you are, it always ends in tears.
From Toxic to Trust triangles
To solve the problem, I’d like to suggest that we change the mantra from ‘No Triangles’ to ‘No Toxic Triangles’ and here’s why. Having been caught up in these triangles before, it’s really hard not to engage in social grooming, a basic human instinct that is hardwired into us (See Andrew O’Keeffe’s Hardwired Humans for more on this). However, I think it’s possible with the right sort of commitment to the system, that each team member can seek to create ‘Trust triangles’. The rules are really simple.
Fig 2. Trust Triangle in a team context
Using our previous example, we can see in Fig 2 that when employee 1 had an issue with employee 2, they addressed it with them on the spot. They still didn’t feel satisfied with the situation so they raised the issue with their manager. The manager then had a coaching conversation with employee 1 as to how they could seek to gain more resolve with employee 2. Employee 2 decided to raise the challenges with the manager who openly shared that they were aware of the issue and provided further coaching on how best to resolve their differences. Employee 1 and employee 2 had further discussion about their differences and what they will agree to do differently. Like the toxic triangle, there are two truths about the trust triangle that will always remain.
The trust triangle facilitates dialogue by speaking directly to one another, not about one another.
While conflict may occur and a resolution may not be possible, the trust will be reinforced through the system.
Using this simple and effective system, you too can aim to build strong engaged teams that are built on a foundation of high trust, open dialogue, and a willingness to have tough conversations. Are you in a toxic triangle right now? How could you facilitate dialogue that creates more direct communication that builds trust?
References
O’keeffe, A., (2011). HARDWIRED HUMANS. Australia: Roundtable Press.
Jackson, P., & Delehanty, H., (2014). Eleven Rings. LONDON: Penguin Random House UK.
Lencioni, P., (2002). The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A leadership Fable. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
WANT HELP BUILDING TRUST IN YOUR TEAM?
Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making the first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
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CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
Taking the F'ire' out of your feedback
With such massive disruption to the normal flow of work, it’s likely that some of the less ‘urgent’ tasks have taken a back seat over the past few months while the world has been reeling with the spread of COVID-19 and subsequent economic fallout. One of these ‘non-urgent’ but ‘important’ tasks is providing feedback on performance, particularly when performance isn’t aligned with expectations.
With such massive disruption to the normal flow of work, it’s likely that some of the less ‘urgent’ tasks have taken a back seat over the past few months while the world has been reeling with the spread of COVID-19 and subsequent economic fallout. One of these ‘non-urgent’ but ‘important’ tasks is providing feedback on performance, particularly when performance isn’t aligned with expectations.
Delivering performance feedback is more art than science and as I’m sure you’ll agree…some people are better at art than others! However, to be an accomplished artist, first, you must learn the necessary skills of your craft before you can fully and freely express yourself. Herein lies the distinction between an amateur splashing some paint on the canvas and a master carefully building depth to the work, layer by layer.
Receiving the message
When it comes to tough messages, I’ve been on the receiving end of some very poorly delivered feedback but also had my fair share of feedback that was brilliantly expressed. The worst feedback session I ever experienced was so brutally and venomously delivered I had to instantly write it down so I didn’t have to hold the negativity in my head. I held onto that piece of paper for about 6 months and eventually ceremoniously burned it when that leader left the organisation. I won’t repeat what was shared as it was cruel, cutting and borderline psychopathic. However, underneath all of the emotion and toxicity with which it was transmitted, there was no beating around the bush, the overarching message was clear and it led to a change in behaviour….mainly avoidance….but change nonetheless.
In contrast, I’ve also experienced tough feedback about my performance that was delivered so beautifully that I felt empowered and inspired to lift my game. The honesty was so refreshing that, despite the message being difficult to hear, it enabled clear action to take place immediately. Upon reflection, both leaders that delivered the feedback were highly experienced and respected. They had undoubtedly delivered tough feedback thousands of times before so what made the first scenario so horrible and the second scenario so great? The emotional fire that was fueling the conversation.
Focus on the facts not the ‘ire’
In the book ‘Truth at work’, Mark Murphy details a model for delivering tough messages that takes the emotion out of the conversation to enable an honest and productive conversation to unfold. He uses the acronym F.I.R.E which spells out the following.
Facts - What happened? What is observable? If you watched back a video recording, what would you see?
Interpretations - What are you making it mean? What dots are you connecting?
Reactions - What is your response? What is happening emotionally and physically?
Ends - What is the outcome you/they want?
Mark explains that most of the messages we deliver or receive are sparsely made up of facts and overwhelmingly filled with ire, the result, of course, leads to a poorly delivered message which most likely leads to resistance or rejection from the receiver. Using the fire model, you can evaluate a message you plan on delivering to see if you can reduce the ‘heat’ by minimising the ‘ire’. Have a go and you’ll be surprised at just how much emotion is blocking your ability to see a different perspective.
What NOT to do
When delivering ‘truth’ filled messages, I’m a strong believer in making certain that you communicate a message that is direct and compassionate. There is nothing worse than someone starting a feedback session with “So this isn’t my opinion but others have said that….” Or even worse “people think that you…..” All this does is create resistance and aside from that ….it’s just plain gutless of the person delivering the message. Too often, I see people fall into the trap of giving feedback that is ‘what the receiver wants to hear’ or ‘what the receiver needs to hear’ or sometimes ‘the cold hard truth’. Having tested all of these, I can tell you that none of them works well.
What you CAN do
The most powerful message is one that aligns directly with ‘what you, as the deliverer of the message, need to share’. Having had clients test this model, they like it and agree with it….it’s just really hard to do. When it comes to the moment of delivering the feedback it can come out backwards or emotional and end up being a big mess. That’s where I reckon Mark Murphy is onto something with his fire model. Once you’ve formulated what it is you need to share with someone (an honest and compassionate message) test it out with the fire model to see how much of it is based on facts or is driven by ‘ire’ or emotion.
Time to lead
As much as delivering feedback on performance -especially when it’s poor- is a loathsome task, if you’re a manager or leader, you need to be a master of your craft. If there’s a single skill that differentiates a great manager and leader from the rest, I’d argue it’s their ability to deliver a tough message with finesse and integrity. The truth is, regardless of how good the performance of your team is, the need to deliver tough messages will always be there. This is as true for your high performers as it is for your low performers but none more so than for yourself.
References
Murphy, M. (2017). Truth At Work: The Science of Delivering Tough Messages. New York: McGraw Hill Professional.
WANT help crafting your messages?
Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
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If you liked this article, have a look at some of my other articles here or sign-up to my list to receive my articles directly into your inbox each week. If you think someone might like to read them too, simply forward this email on to them.
CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
Purposeless : It's how I found my muse
I can clearly articulate the process of how I landed on my purpose statement. If you’re interested, see my article on ‘how to align with your purpose’ here. However, this point in the process was more like the last mile of a parcel being delivered halfway around the world. Before you send a parcel you need to know where it’s going, who it’s going to, how it’s going to be wrapped, how much it’s going to cost you and that’s ignoring the decision of what you want to send in the first place! How I learned the importance of purpose was by first experiencing the complete absence of it; I was purposeless.
I’ve spent a lot of time with my kids lately and for the majority of the time, it’s been great but my teenage boys have been pushing a few buttons I didn’t know I had!! There’s no need to go into the details of it here as I’m sure you can relate to the not so subtle blend of arrogance and judgment neatly wrapped in a thick blanket of cynicism they exude. Funnily enough, I know why it triggers me so much….because I was pretty similar at their age!.
Observing how my boys are coping with their teens got me thinking about my teenage years, awkwardly navigating the surge of hormones, struggling to form my identity while clinging to any thread of belonging. Looking back on it now, I was deeply depressed. I’m not going to play the victim here, it’s not the point, but after years of studying psychology I now recognise what was going on and it explains why alignment with purpose is such a critical element of the work that I do with people and organisations.
There is more to the story
I can clearly articulate the process of how I landed on my purpose statement. If you’re interested, see my article on ‘how to align with your purpose’ here. However, this point in the process was more like the last mile of a parcel being delivered halfway around the world. Before you send a parcel you need to know where it’s going, who it’s going to, how it’s going to be wrapped, how much it’s going to cost you and that’s ignoring the decision of what you want to send in the first place! How I learned the importance of purpose was by first experiencing the complete absence of it; I was purposeless.
Touching the void
There was a time where my days were long, aimless and filled with isolation. I had very little contact with people and was left to my own devices. I lived in country NSW so I’d often be alone and spend whole days exploring the nearby bushland which would occupy me for a while, and then I’d get bored. It was in my boredom that I found art, juggling and making fireworks which were all interesting but still lacked an overarching purpose or direction. They were just ‘hobbies’ and didn’t seem to fit in ‘normal’ society. I recall a moment when I was sitting on the couch, staring out our living room window at the various cloud formations and was just noticing clouds as clouds…not as anything else (which is quite hard to do….our brains are amazingly good at coming up with a familiar pattern or shape to give the cloud meaning, a process called pareidolia). It was at this moment that it dawned on me that my constant quest to identify my purpose from external sources had indeed left me purposeless. I felt a deep sadness coupled with a sense of shame at how irresponsible I had been. I was not more than 15 or 16 at the time but felt like I had fallen into an abyss of meaningless existence, a dangerous crossroads that for many sadly ends in them taking their own life. For me, however, it was a decision point that pushed me to elevate my awareness.
Anti-purpose and the shadow you can’t see
What followed, is a stage that I now refer to as anti-purpose. At this time I’d done away with the desperate need to find my purpose and what I was meant to be doing, and focussed on what was right in front of me. Sounds pretty sensible right? Wrong. I began ‘applying myself’ and ‘working hard’, and ‘gritting my teeth’ to ‘give me options’. None of these things felt right or good but it seemed to be all of the advice I was getting from well-meaning adults in my life at the time. They weren’t wrong….in fact, everything they said was correct. The problem for me was that I had a really strong anti-purpose weighing me down. My anti-purpose sounded like ‘You’re not smart enough’, ‘you’re weak’, ‘you’re ugly’, and last but not least ‘you’re not good enough to [enter whatever goal, vision, or aspiration I had here]’. At the time, I thought I was living in the moment, doing what was asked of me and building my character. Don’t get me wrong, I still read books, had friends, enjoyed going to the movies etc. But there were some incredibly negative narratives running on repeat in what became the incessant soundtrack of my daily existence. This continued for about a decade.
Finding purpose isn’t enough
While I still wasn’t fully aware of the ‘soundtrack’ I had been playing on repeat all those years, I finally started to get clear on my purpose. After landing my first career job once I’d finished studying at Uni, I’d had the opportunity to work with some amazing people and organisations, seen purpose-filled workplaces and experienced what great leadership looks and feels like. I knew I was on the right path but still couldn’t articulate my purpose clearly. Long story short, I had some great mentoring and coaching that enabled me to finally spit out my purpose statement. I finally got to a point in my life where I felt a deep conviction about what I needed to do. It felt so good to have such clarity but it took me another decade or so before I really stepped into that purpose and aligned with it.
Once I’d identified my purpose and could call on it at-will to provide me with focus, guide my decisions and intrinsically motivate me, my anti-purpose and the accompanying narrative started to fade away. The new challenge I was facing came in the form of misalignment. The irony is that once you can state your purpose, you are constantly and quickly alerted to any misalignment that you feel. It’s simply not enough to know your purpose, you must align with it or suffer the consequences of following a path that isn’t true. There are many stories of this tragedy in people all around you and possibly within yourself. Everything might look OK from the outside and they’ll tell you as much. The truth is, a chasm often opens up between their purpose and what they actually do that sucks the life right out of them like a black-hole deep in space. When you align with your purpose, the ride isn’t over. I once thought that it would be an opportunity to bask in the glory of achievement but it’s more like a carefully monitored process that ensures that one is staying on track. It’s a bit like a commercial airliner. Once the pilot’s set the plane on course, there is a constant process of re-aligning the plane to the desired destination to account for the variable factors such as wind speed, rain, cargo, and altitude etc. It’s an active process of ensuring you stay on course.
So what’s the purpose of a purpose?
So one day, I had somebody ask me….”So you’re ‘aligned’ with your purpose. That’s awesome but so what?” They then said, “I don’t really need a purpose statement as long as I’ve got a goal to work toward and I’m happy”. There are plenty of people in that camp and that’s ok. The purpose of a purpose, however, is to give you that fuel to keep the fire burning bright, to give you energy when you need it most, and to propel you forward toward your destination wherever that might be. There is a minority of people on this planet that decide on what they want to do, set the direction and power through to the finish line without faltering. They are not human! Most of us decide what we want to do, know the direction we have to take and spend a whole bunch of time distracting ourselves with other priorities, issues, drama or simply just run out of steam and lose motivation. This is where being aligned with your purpose can be incredibly powerful to keep you moving forward.
If you’re still not convinced that knowing your purpose is critical, maybe life is just a bit safe and easy for you? Perhaps you haven’t been challenged enough yet? It is when you face your greatest tests that you’ll trip over that which is most important to you. If you’re looking for inspiration, look no further than Victor Frankl’s ‘Man’s search for meaning’. It was through his experiences in a concentration camp that he identified meaning and purpose through extreme suffering. Like Victor Frankl, and for all of us, it is in our darkest hour that knowing our purpose provides the light to show us the way forward.
References
Frankl, V. E. (1984). Man's search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy. New York: Simon & Schuster.
WANT TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE?
Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
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If you liked this article, have a look at some of my other articles here or sign-up to my list to receive my articles directly into your inbox each week. If you think someone might like to read them too, simply forward this email on to them.
CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
What's the value of coaching? Is it really worth it?
Like any ‘new’ (relatively speaking) area of practice, executive coaching has had its fair share of scrutiny regarding the Return On Investment, the efficacy, and ultimately the value it generates. There is a growing body of evidence supporting what we already knew, effective coaching has a positive and observable impact on employee performance, engagement, wellbeing, self-regulation, goal attainment, and transformational leadership (Burt & Talati, 2017; Teebom et, at, 2014; Jones, et.al, 2016; O'Connor & Cavanagh, 2014). In other words, it works and if you’re smart, you’ll seek out coaching for yourself, your team and make it accessible to the rest of the organisation.
Like any ‘new’ (relatively speaking) area of practice, executive coaching has had its fair share of scrutiny regarding the Return On Investment, the efficacy, and ultimately the value it generates. There is a growing body of evidence supporting what we already knew, effective coaching has a positive and observable impact on employee performance, engagement, wellbeing, self-regulation, goal attainment, and transformational leadership (Burt & Talati, 2017; Teebom et, at, 2014; Jones, et.al, 2016; O'Connor & Cavanagh, 2014). In other words, it works and if you’re smart, you’ll seek out coaching for yourself, your team and make it accessible to the rest of the organisation.
The ‘ROI’ of Coaching
Of course, variables such as capabilities of coach, scope and length of coaching, the willingness of the coachee to engage and the environment the coaching is happening all play a major role in coaching success. For the sake of this discussion, let’s assume 1) The capability of the coach is high 2) The coachee is willing to engage and 3) The environmental context is conducive to a successful coaching outcome. With these conditions being met, coaching becomes an opportunity to express freely, experiment with ideas, test new behaviours and develop as a person and a leader. As outlined in his research (Grant, 2012) the late Anthony Grant, founder of the first Masters of Coaching Psychology course in the world, suggested that traditional ROI calculations were misleading and ineffective in explaining the positive impact of coaching. As such, trying to put a dollar figure to a coaching engagement has often resulted in highly spurious and misleading figures. In many ways, trying to place a dollar value on the impact coaching has had on a person is like asking somebody to explain the worth, in dollars, of the relationship they have with a close friend, spouse or child. While it is possible to come up with a number, as sophisticated as the formula may be, it is likely to produce a dollar amount that doesn’t ‘feel’ right.
The value of coaching for an individual- Wellbeing & engagement
Rather than try to put a dollar value to the impact coaching has had on a person, a much better way to evaluate coaching efficacy is to measure outcomes such as wellbeing, engagement (both leader and their team), goal attainment, and transformational leadership. After all, if we can see a positive shift in a leaders behaviour, it creates a positive ripple that flows through every interaction both direct and indirect with that leader. Moreover, this positive ripple acts just like a stone dropping in the centre of a still pond. The ripples gently expand in all directions, so relationships in all areas of a leaders’ life will be enhanced through the process of coaching.
The value of coaching for organisations- The ripple effect
When I engage with organisations, usually with an intact leadership team, and sometimes with a broader cohort of leaders, I get to see how this ‘ripple effect’ contributes to enhancing organisational culture. At the core of it, culture is made of the relationships, beliefs and behaviours that are collectively shared in the organisation (I recently wrote an article on organisational culture that goes into more detail you can read here). At times I have been able to engage with employees at all levels in the hierarchy from the Managing Director, senior managers, middle managers right through to the front line staff, all in the same organisation. Being able to observe the beliefs, behaviours and relationships that perpetually reinforce the culture at all levels was astounding. The depth of insight a coach is able to access is comparable to an artist shifting from painting a figure on a canvas to sculpting in three dimensions. The result is far more accurate, observable from every angle and highly nuanced. In a study by Sean 0’Connor and Michael Cavanagh (2014), they measured the positive impact of coaching within an organisation using Social Networking analysis. They demonstrated that coaching enhanced wellbeing of coachees but also those that were closely connected to them. The authors concluded that the positive influence of leadership coaching extends beyond the individual being coached.
The value of the ‘immeasurable’
Just imagine for a moment, that you are at the top of your game, you’ve always enjoyed success and have been rewarded throughout your career for your capability. You’ve seen others struggle at times and wondered why they weren’t able to ‘work harder’ or ‘push through’ to succeed. The very next day, you get a call from your CEO explaining that you have been terminated and an envelope with a severance package was in transit to your home, you are no longer required to go to work. Regardless of the legitimacy of the reason for termination, the value of the severance package, nothing feels fair.
In another example, imagine you are at the beginning of your career and you have landed a massive opportunity to step into a leadership role. You don’t feel ready, you know you don’t have the experience or capability to be a great leader yet but somehow got the role. You feel out of your depth, anxious to succeed but not sure where to start. The day before you were to start your new role, you get a call from an old mentor who offers you sage advice, allays your fears and reinforces their belief in you. You feel an inner confidence rise, your voice takes on a new timber and a calm feeling of ‘I’ve got this’ washes over you.
Finally, I’d like you to imagine that you are a great leader, your team admires you, your organisation rewards you for your success but still, you want to be better. Like a boxer fighting with his shadow, you know you can’t get better at your craft until you have someone real to spar with. The problem is, you don’t know where to find them but you know that to continue to improve you need to be challenged.
In the above scenarios, the value placed on what each person needs is highly subjective, extremely context-specific and would be very difficult to translate into a dollar figure. However, if I was to suggest that as the terminated executive, should you not get any support, you would fall into a deep depression and never find your feet again, what value would you place on getting some help? Similarly, as the upcoming first-time leader, what if I was to tell you that without adequate mentoring and guidance you would fail and likely never want to dip your toe in leadership again. Last but not least, if you were the admired leader that never found somebody to challenge you beyond your current capability, you would lose your motivation to improve along with your far-reaching influence.
The true value of coaching
Like all the best sportspeople in the world, whether it be a team or individual sport they all have coaches. Would they still be great athletes without a coach? Absolutely. Would they achieve the same level of success without coaching? Not likely. There’s a point at which the dollar value you place on the intervention becomes less important than what it means to you. In business, it’s the same. While knowing that it will help you be more successful financially is a critical decision-making insight, the real (immeasurable) value comes with the ability to clearly articulate that which is most important to you and focus all of your effort on it. That clarity and the associated change in thought, feeling and behaviour is the true value of coaching.
References
Burt, D. & Talati, Z. (2017) The unsolved value of executive coaching: A meta-analysis of outcomes using randomised control trial studies. International Journal of Evidence-Based Coaching and Mentoring, 15(2)17-24.
Grant, A. (2012). ROI is a poor measure of coaching success: Towards a more holistic approach using a well-being and engagement framework. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, 5(2), 74-85. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/17521882.2012.672438
Jones, R. J., Woods, S. A., & Guillaume, Y. R. F. (2016). The effectiveness of workplace coaching: A meta-analysis of learning and performance outcomes from coaching. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 89(2), 249–277. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12119
O’connor, S. & Cavanagh, M. (2014). Research Poster. The Coaching Ripple Effect: The individual and Systemic Level Influence of Leadership Development. http://www.psywb.com/content/3/1/2.
Theeboom, T., Beersma, B., & van Vianen, A. (2014) Does coaching work? A meta-analysis on the effects of coaching on individual-level outcomes in an organizational context, The Journal of Positive Psychology, 9:1, 1-18, DOI: 10.1080/17439760.2013.837499
WANT TO EXPERIENCE COACHING?
Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
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CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
Who needs coaching anyway?
The obvious answer to this question is everyone. However, there is a bit more to it than that. First and foremost, the coachee is taking on the role of a learner, and as with any type of learning you need to be up for it. When I was completing my Higher School Certificate (HSC), I recall how disengaged I was in my English class, reluctantly reading ‘Macbeth’ and ‘The Crucible’ in what felt like some sort of punishment. Ironically, once I completed my final exams I had a stack of books beside my bed that included ‘The catcher in the rye’, ‘Crime and punishment’, ‘In the skin of a lion’ ‘Doors of perception’ and ‘A clockwork orange’. Clearly, my choice in books following the HSC rules out avoiding a challenging read. The only thing that shifted is my mindset. Specifically, it was that I got to choose what I wanted to learn.
In my last article, I explored what coaching is and how it might benefit anyone that is curious. Following on from this, I wanted to explore the question of who might need it.
The obvious answer to this question is everyone. However, there is a bit more to it than that. First and foremost, the coachee is taking on the role of a learner, and as with any type of learning you need to be up for it. When I was completing my Higher School Certificate (HSC), I recall how disengaged I was in my English class, reluctantly reading ‘Macbeth’ and ‘The Crucible’ in what felt like some sort of punishment. Ironically, once I completed my final exams I had a stack of books beside my bed that included ‘The catcher in the rye’, ‘Crime and punishment’, ‘In the skin of a lion’ ‘Doors of perception’ and ‘A clockwork orange’. Clearly, my choice in books following the HSC rules out avoiding a challenging read. The only thing that shifted is my mindset. Specifically, it was that I got to choose what I wanted to learn.
Mindset Matters
When engaging with your coach, if you feel as though you are being given the ‘required reading’ it’s never going to work. You need to want to learn, engage, and be willing to experiment with your coach. I recently wrote an article entitled ‘How coachable are you?’ detailing the traits that I believe lead to a successful coaching experience when embodied by both coach and coachee. Above all else, coaching will be rewarding when grounded on openness, curiosity, and a willingness to learn. In addition, below is a list of common patterns of behaviour that I know can benefit from the value coaching has to offer. I’m not a big fan of labels, but it does help people identify and diagnose where they, or somebody they know, tends to fit. Have a look at the below descriptors and see if you can identify your patterns of behaviour.
Personality Matters
The Floater - This is somebody feeling disengaged with their work, their relationships and their life in general. They don’t feel like anything is wrong as such, but they lack purpose and conviction in what they do. They want more out of life but they’re also comfortable. Deep down they know they are missing out but struggle to conjure up the motivation to do anything about it. They often say to themselves ‘Is this it?….I expected more out of life’. With the right coach, they will re-connect with what energizes them and start contributing to their own life again.
The Self Saboteur - There are many and varied reasons why these people engage in self-sabotage, but they do. This can look like staying out late before an important meeting, presentation or interview, to speaking poorly about their friends or colleagues behind their backs. They actively jeopardise their personal relationships with risky behaviour, emotionally charged attacks and combative discussion. They know that they are ‘out of line’ but just aren’t sure how to control themselves. They often describe themselves as their own worst enemies and greatly benefit from the support and guidance offered by a coach.
The Imposter - They may or may not be suffering from what’s commonly known as ‘Imposter Syndrome’ but they definitely question their capability. They often find themselves asking ‘why me?’ if selected to lead an important project or take on a leadership role. Their humility works against them and tends to erode their confidence to the point that others take note. A coach will challenge them to lead more powerfully, doing away with any self-doubt.
The Know-it-all - These are the last people on the planet that will voluntarily seek out coaching. That is of course because they believe they have nothing to learn. They appear pompous, arrogant, aloof and are often very clever in a book smart sort of way. Vulnerability is like their Kryptonite. They don’t like being around people that show vulnerability and cringe at the idea of being vulnerable themselves. Their self-awareness is typically low so should they engage in coaching, it will likely be a challenging road ahead for both coach and coachee.
The Go-Getter - Highly ambitious, these people are keen to use any advantage they can get to ensure they hit their goals. They are open to being challenged, want to know the answers and are eager to test things out. They are usually conscientious, driven, hard-working and fast-paced. Their hunger to learn is a great match for coaching as is the perspective they will gain from a skilled coach.
The Mentor - Whether they have the formal role of mentor or not, these are the people always counselling others, giving their time and energy to everyone around them. They love their role as an adviser but often describe having low levels of energy, high levels of frustration and find it difficult to ask for help. They are often more senior and have high levels of experience so their positioning in the organisation and in life makes it hard for them to seek support. A coach is critical for these people to ensure they can continue to provide their leadership to others without suffering exhaustion or burnout.
Context Matters
It addition to the behaviour patterns above, there are circumstances created by the environment that coaching can help with too. These include:
Change in job/role/career - This might be someone new to leadership, someone, that has been made redundant, someone looking to change their career or level up in their role. It can also include a leader looking to re-orient their team, engage their workforce or enhance the culture. When facing such challenges, a coach can help overcome blockers and navigate through the choppy waters.
Personal challenges - As much as some people like to believe that they can keep personal and work life separate, they can’t. This is especially true when your personal life falls apart. For most people, talking about their terminally ill parents, kids struggling with sexual identity, messy break-ups, financial problems, and overall family drama is not something to raise in the Monday morning meeting. While I’d like to think that managers out there can handle these types of conversations, many of us can present evidence to suggest otherwise. Having a coach enables people to express their challenges without feeling judged and to openly discuss what support is available to them. The difference a single conversation can make to a person can mean the difference between life and death. Unfortunately, we have a long way to go as a society in remedying this challenge.
Relationship Conflict - This largely depends on the experience of the coach, but odds are your coach has exceptional communication skills and is, therefore, able to help resolve relationship challenges. This is different to a formal mediation process initiated by Human Resources (which is, of course, the right thing to do when complaints have been raised). I’m referring to the point before the conflict is escalated so there is still hope of working through any differences. This can be between individuals or even for a whole team but certainly depends on the capability and experience of the coach.
Performance issues - This one comes with a caveat that a coach should never be used to replace the role of a manager. If however, there are known performance issues and the employee has been placed on a clear performance improvement plan, coaching is a powerful way for the organisation to demonstrate a genuine desire for them to succeed. The assumption here is that the employee acknowledges and agrees there is an issue with their performance and are committed to doing everything it takes to lift their game.
High performance - Unfortunately, when people and teams demonstrate great performance in their role or on a project, they are usually ‘rewarded’ with extra work due to their competence. They can sometimes be pushed into a leadership role before they are ready, commonly known as the ‘Peter Principle’. They get pushed and pulled around the organisation feeling pressured to maintain their reputation, slowly becoming less engaged. Too often, they are overlooked as candidates for coaching because their numbers are good, their projects are on time, and ‘you already have a plan’ for them. As a coach, what’s great about working with high performing people is they are so driven to improve. Giving them a coach is like fanning the flames of their personal growth and development.
As you can gather, coaching can be applied to a variety of personality types across a myriad of situations. What remains consistent in successful coaching engagements is the mindset of openness, curiosity and willingness to learn. If you’ve taken one thing from this article, I hope it’s strong agreement that coaching matters.
WANT TO EXPERIENCE COACHING?
Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
Did you like this Article?
If you liked this article, have a look at some of my other articles here or sign-up to my list to receive my articles directly into your inbox each week. If you think someone might like to read them too, simply forward this email on to them.
CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
What is coaching?
One of my colleagues once described coaching as "A conversation with yourself that you normally don't make time for". While I'm unsure of the source, I find it to be of the best descriptions in conveying the essence of what coaching is all about. Of course, many coaches take a more traditional 'instructional' approach to coaching which feels more like a parent barking orders at a child, or a manager telling employees what to do. While this works for some and will continue to have its place, it's not the type of coaching that I engage in.
For a moment, I'd like you to imagine being completely isolated and unable to speak with anyone. You are left with your thoughts, desires, regrets, aspirations, feelings, past failures and achievements. You have no contact with the outside world, no news, no TV, no books, no phone calls, just your thoughts accompanied by your voice inside your head, lonely and lost. After a period of isolation that feels a lot longer than it has been, you can take a walk in the park. Still, you have no contact with anybody, you are alone and quiet. As you walk through the meandering pathways, you notice the tall trees and the flame-coloured leaves falling in the Autumn breeze, feet crunching through the blanket of dry foliage already on the ground. You Notice a person sitting on a bench nearby on the other side of the park, smiling, eyes closed with their hands gently clasped over their belly, basking blissfully in the sun. You slowly approach then sit beside them hesitantly. After a few awkward moments, not knowing what to say, you shuffle in your seat, relax, then close your eyes and bask in the sun also. The warmth strokes your eyelids and feels so good, you feel safe, and at peace. You are no longer alone. When you open your eyes, the light is harsh, forcing you to squint. You glance at the seat beside you and see that they are gone "Not possible" you say to yourself "They were sitting right here beside me". You stand up hurriedly, elevated on your toes, you quickly scan the park to see where they have gone. You return to the bench, this time you slump, head in hands. While you are looking at the ground you notice the trail you left in the leaves, a clear impression made by your feet. You see no other trail or footprints, just yours. Then it suddenly dawns on you, it was you all along, you saw yourself, you sat with yourself, you enjoyed being with yourself, you led yourself, you were never alone.
I wrote the above short story in an attempt to convey the enigma of what coaching feels like, knowing that it feels a little different for everybody. It can be confusing, challenging, strange, heartwarming, enlightening, and empowering all at the same time. Above all else, coaching is unique to you. If you are willing and courageous enough to see yourself in everything that you do, you will grow. One of my colleagues once described coaching as "A conversation with yourself that you normally don't make time for". While I'm unsure of the source, I find it to be of the best descriptions in conveying the essence of what coaching is all about. Of course, many coaches take a more traditional 'instructional' approach to coaching which feels more like a parent barking orders at a child, or a manager telling employees what to do. While this works for some and will continue to have its place, it's not the type of coaching that I engage in.
I align with the philosophy of enabling people to be 'all of who they are' but first it requires 'meeting my clients where they are at'. I've recently been watching the Netflix series 'The Last Dance' which features the coaching relationship between Michael Jordan and Phil Jackson. Following his first NBA championship victory in 1991 with the Chicago Bulls, as Michael Jordan celebrates, Phil Jackson says "You did it the right way". Phil Jackson was the first coach that didn't want to give Michael Jordan the ball all the time. Understandably, Jordan was frustrated by this as he was the most talented player on the team. It took three years, but through Phil Jackson's coaching, Michael Jordan learned that by lifting the capability of his teammates and being selfless with the ball he enabled the team and his leadership to elevate. Indeed, the winning points were not scored by Michael Jordan but were scored off a pass he assisted, hence Phil Jackson's comment that "You did it the right way".
Now for the more formal definition. Coaching is a development process that involves the expert use of questions, discussion, clarification, activities, feedback and thought experiments to shift perspectives, find clarity and achieve outcomes. Coaching is typically conducted with two people, the coach and the learner, or otherwise known as the coachee. However, coaching can be done with multiple coachee's and in many cases, a coach works with an entire team. Coaching is a broad discipline and as such, anyone with expertise in their chosen field can be classified as a coach. You find coaches in Sports, the Arts (such as voice coaching, presentation skills, acting, body language etc., Business, Education, Politics, Health care, and Personal relationships (and I'm sure there are more that I haven't mentioned here).
While the application is vast, the common thread is the two-way exchange of dialogue that enables a coachee to improve or enhance their understanding, insight, capability and confidence in at least one domain of expertise. Take, for example, a young athlete that is showing early promise of becoming an Olympic runner, they will likely engage a coach to ensure that they continue to improve their skills to reach their maximum potential. Similarly, coaching can also be effective in supporting a student that is struggling with mathematics to improve their understanding so they can progress their studies. Equally, a coach may be deemed necessary in the business context to help a new manager succeed in handling the additional responsibilities thrust upon them in their leadership role. At the core of it, each of the coachees mentioned above is looking to improve. Whether that be from a baseline that is below or above average, they are all seeking support and guidance to enhance their capability. In other words, they are all seeking to become all of who they already are or reach their full potential.
WANT TO EXPERIENCE COACHING?
Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.
NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.
Did you like this Article?
If you liked this article, have a look at some of my other articles here or sign-up to my list to receive my articles directly into your inbox each week. If you think someone might like to read them too, simply forward this email on to them.
CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO
I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825
The 5 Laws Governing your Leadership Legacy
I’d like you to imagine that you’re in a hospital surrounded by medical professionals, machines beeping, people rushing about, and a heaviness is surrounding everybody. You feel it too as you know that you must make a choice. The doctors have so professionally outlined all the pros and cons associated with either choice you make but the final decision lies with you…and you alone. You’re feeling a little bit angry at the situation, it’s not fair that this decision rests squarely on your shoulders….is it? You feel cornered like you’re being pressured into making the wrong decision…will you? You wish somebody else could just tell you what you need to do…. don’t you?
I’d like you to imagine that you’re in a hospital surrounded by medical professionals, machines beeping, people rushing about, and a heaviness is surrounding everybody. You feel it too as you know that you must make a choice. The doctors have so professionally outlined all the pros and cons associated with either choice you make but the final decision lies with you…and you alone. You’re feeling a little bit angry at the situation, it’s not fair that this decision rests squarely on your shoulders….is it? You feel cornered like you’re being pressured into making the wrong decision…will you? You wish somebody else could just tell you what you need to do…. don’t you?
14 years ago, I was facing such a choice. My wife was pregnant with our first child who was due to be born in about two and a half months. Everything had been going so smoothly that I kept having to remind myself that she was pregnant. That all changed when things got complicated. During a routine check-up, our doctor recognised that things weren’t quite right. Our son was at risk of being born a couple of months early so my wife was hospitalised and put on bed rest. We were given a flying tour of the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) where all the premature babies were cared for. I had a hard lump in my throat as we were being ‘inducted’ knowing that I would soon be joining the other sleep-deprived parents staring at their babies longingly; their view obscured by the Perspex walls of the humid-i-crib and the bunch of tubes and wires that represent an artificial umbilical cord. I was numb, I couldn’t really feel anything.
The ‘big’ day
She’d been on bed rest for two weeks now so I’d convinced myself that the baby would be born normally and we wouldn’t need to be in the NICU. That morning, I got a call from the hospital that the baby was coming….the lump in my throat hardened. Upon arrival, I did my best to reassure my wife that everything was going to be ok. That’s when the doctor mentioned some of the other problems. The baby’s position wasn’t normal (he was bum first) so a natural birth would be difficult. We could choose surgery but that also came with its risks for my wife and our baby. Overwhelmed with emotion, my wife wanted me to make the decision.
My choice
I chose a natural birth option. This was potentially the riskiest for both mother and baby but also the best option if they both made it through. Given the complex situation, we had 6 doctors in the room. I felt so small, helpless and insignificant. I was only 24 years old and the lump in my throat was so tight now, I could barely speak. The next few hours were a slow-motion blur resulting in my son being born naturally. The nurses quickly jumped into action as he wasn’t breathing, and his heart had stopped. Feeling the relief of giving birth my wife looked over at me for reassurance that he was ok. That moment stood still…..what was likely only 10 seconds felt like hours. Not knowing how to respond to my wife’s gaze, I looked on as the doctors and nurses were trying to revive our son. My wife squeezed my hand and asked ”is he ok”? It was at that moment that I heard what sounded like a gurgling noise that was reminiscent of a scene from Jurassic park. For the first time in two weeks the lump in my throat had softened…I could finally speak unhindered “He’s going to be fine”….I said.
Leadership Legacy
Leadership is about showing up in a way that represents who you are. Legacy is about defining how you are remembered. Having worked with thousands of people in their pursuit of being great leaders I’ve seen the very best and the very worst of Leadership Legacy. As highlighted by my own experience with my wife and first son, how you show up in difficult situations defines how you will be remembered. There is no ‘right’ or ‘known’ path for great leadership but we all know it when we see it. A great piece of research outlined by Gallup references the ‘four needs of followers’ by simply asking a group of 10 000 managers to describe the traits of a leader that has had a significant positive impact on their life. The results of their study showed four common themes that emerged. Great leaders were characterised by Trust, Hope, Stability and Compassion. While great leaders make mistakes all the time, we tend not to remember them for what they got wrong, but more so for all of what they did right. How do great leaders create such a positive experience for those around them?
The Five laws
Through my own work coaching leaders, I’ve observed some universal truths that guide the actions of those that are aligned with their leadership legacy. Below is a brief summary of these universal truths that can be used as guiding principles for those that want to accelerate their own development and more fully live in alignment with their legacy.
Law 1 | Listen with depth – Great leaders are brilliant listeners not just of the words being said but also to that which is unsaid. The ability to truly listen requires more than just your ears. As Malcom Gladwell wrote in his book ‘Blink’, your ability to process micro-expressions, be aware of your own biases, and draw conclusions under extreme pressure all happens within the blink of an eye. Oscar Trimboli’s fantastic book ‘Deep listening’ expertly guides us through the different levels of listening starting with self then moving through to meaning. Oscar also reminds us of the need to be mindful of your shadow or unconscious listening behaviours which prevent you from listening deeply.
Law 2 | Learn with endless vigour – We all intuitively know that when we are learning we have more energy, feel motivated, engaged, and connected. We also know that sometimes learning can feel hard, especially when you reach a plateau. Great leaders relentlessly commit to their learning which takes humility. While having an outcome focussed mindset is great for kicking goals, we tend to focus less on the process of learning if we are too focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. In my own practice of juggling, yoga and martial-arts I am continually reminded that there is no end goal. Being present and connected to daily practice is indeed the intention. Some days you are strong, while on other days things just don’t click. This is also a part of the learning process which requires consistency, dedication, persistence, and discipline. In the pursuit of mastering an ability, we learn how to master ourselves. Self-mastery is self-leadership.
Law 3 | Liberate yourself and others – Almost all of what prevents us from achieving that which we most desire exists solely in our own head. Great leaders can separate their past experiences from the meaning they attach to them. It’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s what you make it mean that causes all your suffering. Being able to transcend your past, and let go of your hang-ups will give you the freedom to truly lead. Doing this for yourself provides you with the capacity to liberate others. Keep in mind that this is not a one-trick pony. We are constantly wired to interpret what happens to us in a way that is meaningful and makes sense. The sooner you realise that this is how we have evolved to feel safe and in control but won’t help you succeed, the better. To grow and lead, you must embrace your fear and the inherent meaninglessness associated with your experiences.
Law 4 | Link people, concepts, and experiences– To quote Paul Kelly “From little things big things grow”. My interpretation, our thoughts represent where we choose to focus our attention, which drives our behaviour, which creates outcomes. The thousands of thoughts driving our behaviour and outcomes everyday form our identity. Who we hang out with, what we choose to do in our spare time, the TV we watch, the partners we choose, the work we do, the products we buy, all represent ripples on a pond. The pond being the universe and a thought represents a pebble tossed into the calm water. The more pebbles we toss the more ripples that form. When the ripple caused by my pebble collides with yours, we start to see how complex and messy things can get. Great leaders recognise that all things are linked. Knowing the far-reaching nature of these connections arms leaders with the wisdom to act with integrity. A pebble thrown with accuracy will cause a ripple effect that’s both beautiful, intentional, and knows no bounds.
Law 5 | Love with courage – As Steven Covey wrote in his book ‘The seven habits of highly effective leaders’ love is what you do and who you are being, not what you are feeling. If you no longer feel in love with your work, your partner, or your life. It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself about what you are doing. By this I mean, how are you showing up in your relationship, to work, or in life? Are you always late? Ask yourself if this represents the actions of someone who loves their team, their partner, their friends or their family? Are your actions aligned with love? Or perhaps you drink too much alcohol? Ask yourself, is this what love looks like to you? Do you get angry with your kids and dominate them by yelling and screaming when they misbehave? Ask yourself, are your actions reflecting love? I know it’s hard and most of us get it wrong most of the time but it takes courage and vulnerability to behave in alignment with love. You might call this gratitude, acceptance, courage, expression, vulnerability, connection etc. Whatever you call them, they are all rolled into behaviours aligned with love. Great leaders are able to love knowing that they will get hurt, knowing that there is no other way to truly be.
Closing thoughts
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sharing these laws with you to ‘tell’ you what to do. I wrote this article off the back of the most common question I get from people when I’m coaching them. They ask “What do great leaders do?” or if they are honest “Do you think I have what it takes to be a great leader?”. The 5 laws come from great leaders that I’ve worked with, my own self-exploration, and through understanding the research of others. The laws represent what great leaders do. To answer everybody’s question – Do you have what it takes? Absolutely. If your willingness to love outweighs your fear of being hurt, you will succeed. Like my experience throughout my first son’s birth sometimes the best leadership comes in the form of knowing when not to speak or intervene. It takes leadership to accept that you don’t know what the outcome will eventually be and to trust the natural process by standing back to watch everything unfold. One final thought; your leadership legacy is not governed by your title nor your authority, it is determined by your ability to lead with love.
Emotions trump talent and purpose: Like a kite without a string
It was windy, very windy, the perfect day to fly a kite. I was about 12 years old and the proud owner of a stunt kite…you know the triangular shaped ones that do loops and spins once you’ve learned how to master them. Well, given the wind was blowing I thought I’d take my kite for a spin but not just as it was, I wanted to see how high it could go so I craftily enhanced it by tying an extra 200metres of 30-pound fishing line onto the existing string. This was going to be good! I appealed to a couple of mates to come to join me but to no avail. I didn’t care…the excitement of flying my stunt kite in near gale forced winds with an extra 200 metres of line propelled me to my destination.
My Story
It was windy, very windy, the perfect day to fly a kite. I was about 12 years old and the proud owner of a stunt kite…you know the triangular shaped ones that do loops and spins once you’ve learned how to master them. Well, given the wind was blowing I thought I’d take my kite for a spin but not just as it was, I wanted to see how high it could go so I craftily enhanced it by tying an extra 200metres of 30-pound fishing line onto the existing string. This was going to be good! I appealed to a couple of mates to come to join me but to no avail. I didn’t care…the excitement of flying my stunt kite in near gale forced winds with an extra 200 metres of line propelled me to my destination.
My heart was beating with anticipation, the wind so strong now that I had to lean into it unnaturally to remain upright. I set flight and my kite took off angrily, bucking and pulling like a wild brumby. The wind was so strong I quickly let all the string out and reached the fishing line that I had tied on for extra height. The kite was so high now I could hardly see it and the tension on the line was so extreme the line was making sounds resembling an out of tune banjo being plucked.
I was now struggling to hold onto the plastic reel that housed the fishing line and began to lose my grip. I quickly looked around my feet and picked up a stick that I could put through the reel enabling me to let more line out and give my hands a break. The line screamed as the reel whizzed with frightening acceleration. I looked up to glimpse at my kite which was merely a dot in the sky and that’s when it happened. The whizzing sound was interrupted with a loud crack. I slowly looked down and saw that the plastic reel had shattered, a large shard had stabbed straight through the webbing in my left hand between my thumb and index finger.
In shock I sprinted home clutching my left wrist, trying not to look at the wound as it rhythmically showered my feet with spurts of blood, ever-quickening as the tempo of my heart raced. Once I got home, I raised the alarm to my mum who was trying to remain calm but to me, felt like a severe case of apathy. Like it couldn’t get any worse, I remember the agonisingly slow and sheepish way my mum uttered the words “I can’t remember where I put my keys”. The rest of the story is predictable…. mum found keys… arrive at hospital… remove plastic from hand… insert stitches…contemplate a few hard lessons to carry me forward.
My Insight
Later that afternoon once I’d been stitched up and got back home, I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to the kite. My curiosity getting the better of me, I walked back to the offending location hoping that the jagged reel had gotten caught on a tree or bush. No such luck, that kite had set sail…never to be seen again. Whenever I hear someone say “like a kite without a string”…I look down at my left hand and massage the painful scar tissue that remains. What happened that day is the perfect demonstration of how heightened emotions can override the application of talent and purpose to one’s detriment. Let me explain….
When coaching my clients I focus on 3 areas; Strengths focus (understanding one's strengths and knowing how to effectively apply them), Alignment with purpose (articulating ones purpose and remaining aligned to it) and emotional regulation (the ability to remain present and not succumb to the temptation of what one believes vs what is real). Regardless of how well attuned you are to your strengths or how well aligned you are with your purpose, if you can’t manage your emotions, you’re in trouble. That day, my purpose was clear- I wanted to fly a kite as high as it could go. I leveraged my strengths of curiosity, resourcefulness and independence to follow through on my desire. My emotional state, on the other hand, was not at all in check. I knew it was dangerous and could feel it to the core of my gut. I was a little shaky with anticipation due to the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I was rushing, not thinking, over-riding my cautious conscience. Indeed, my emotions were trumping my purpose and strengths, but I couldn’t help it. My emotions were fuelling my action which in turn fanned the flames of my uneasy emotional state. My logical brain had been hijacked in pursuit of instant gratification.
While I was only 12, developmental psychology tells us that it’s at this stage that we start to form our logical reasoning (See Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive development). So my excuses for being young and foolish are generally accepted but don’t reflect the truth that I know.
When I’m coaching people about challenges and issues, it’s almost unanimously due to them not being able to get present to and regulate their emotions. Like my 12-year-old self, they get seductively drawn into behaviours that reward them at that moment but generally lead to an outcome that is undesirable. Unfortunately for me, my hand came off second best but many people say and do things they regret when their emotions have hijacked their ability to think and reason. The result for them? regret, guilt, loss of control, anger, anxiety, helplessness etc.
My advice
Next time you get that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach stop what you’re doing. Take a moment to focus on your breath to re-centre yourself and activate your parasympathetic nervous system. It’s at this point that you can make a conscious choice about what you do next without feeling like you’re navigating rapids on a river without a paddle. The best way to ensure that you don’t end up like a kite without a string lost forever to the gale forced winds of mother nature; regulate your emotions. For many of you…..you’re saying “that’s easier said than done…especially when you’re in the heat of the moment”. I agree, but other than aspiring to achieve personal mastery through a relentless commitment to self-development, we stagnate, re-iterate and keep repeating the same behavioural patterns. The patterns and tendencies we all face will continue to be there, it’s our ability to recognise the internal cues (that feeling in your gut, or the shakiness in your body) to help us arrest the pattern of behaviour before it’s too late. It’s not easy, it takes discipline and it’s always necessary. It may sound exhausting but when someone is feeling like a kite without a string they’ll do anything to have someone grab the end and start winding them back to earth...that is of course if they’re not already lost forever.
Change = Death = Life
Full expression, in my opinion, is a representation of thehighest form of intelligence and why we are continuously drawn to those that canachieve full expression in their chosen field. From business leaders, athletes,musicians, sculptors, entrepreneurs, inventors, painters, poets, writers, and actors.Their uniqueness is undeniable, their genius fills us with curiosity and awebut the one thing we all share is the inevitability of facing death. Be it ourown death, that of a family member or friend or even somebody we don’tpersonally know but know of. Death and the change that it brings is an inevitablepart of life.
Like everyone, I’ve faced some tough and unusual situationsin my life thus far but one experience that has me stumped is facing death. Iwas largely spared this experience until I was 29 years old. I’d already had 4kids by that stage but somehow managed to evade facing the emotional challengeof death. Obviously, I had indirectly experienced death, but the emotionalimpact was something I was yet to feel. Like the saying ‘seeing is believing’ whenit comes to emotions ‘feeling is understanding’. I recall the moment I learnedof my Grandfather’s death. I was very objective and matter-of-fact about it.Intellectually, I was upset, but I didn’t feel anything initially. At first, Ithought there was something wrong with me as if I was cold and lacking emotion.It was 5 days after he died when I was delivering my eulogy, mid-sentencehalfway through the first paragraph that I started to feel the undeniable vacuumcreated by the void in my heart. I suddenly started to feel like I was implodingas if disappearing into the abyss of a black hole. Paralysed with confusion,unable to speak, I basically lost the plot and experienced the inevitablechange that comes with staring into the mirror of death.
Brett Whiteley, a master of translating life into art, was oneof my favourite artists of all time. I was a keen art student at high schooland spent many hours studying Whiteley’s work and while doing so, I stumbledacross the following statement CHANGE = DEATH.At first glance, it appears to be somewhat morbid and potentially a by-product ofhis well-documented drug abuse. Upon deeper reflection, the simplicity of thisinsight offers an explanation of why change continues to be the greatestinstigator of fear and resistance in our lives. With all change, comes death atone point or another. The challenge for us all is that when someone orsomething dies (i.e. ceases to exist) be it a person, job, relationship or idea,we struggle to see beyond the starkness of it ceasing. We aren’t taught toembrace the unknown, change that necessarily stems from the death of someone orsomething, which in essence, is a fundamental part of life.
"With all change, comes death at one point or another. The challenge for us all is that when someone or something dies (i.e. ceases to exist) be it a person, job, relationship or idea, we struggle to see beyond the starkness of it ceasing."
In organisations, we are constantly facing change. ThroughBrett Whiteley’s artistic lens, this change represents death, death ofsomething and with that comes the need to accept and let go. I’d like to build uponBrett Whiteley’s expression by adding life into the equation. The result is asfollows, CHANGE = DEATH = LIFE. Thework of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross describes the 5stages of grief which has since been adapted by John Fisher and relabelled asthe organisational change curve. While originally inspired by work withterminally ill patients, the applicability of this model to help people acceptand work through changes within an organisational context has proven to be verypowerful.
Why is it that we resist change so fiercely? This simpleanswer, it’s hard and it hurts. For the more scientifically robust answer, I’lldefer to the work of Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky regarding loss aversion.Through their work on behavioural economics, we know that the loss ofsatisfaction associated with losing $100 is greater than the gain insatisfaction associated with winning $100. In simple terms, we find it harderto let things go than it is to receive. Have you ever noticed what happens whenthe CFO decides to restrict access to stationary? Take away the weekly fruitdelivery? Or limit the selection of tea people have to choose from? Thebitching and moaning this causes, not to mention the loss in productivity, isfar greater than the positive affect created when the benefits were first introduced!
Like many of you, right now, I’m facing the prospect of deathin my family, change in my work, and transition in my personal life. While itnever gets easier, embracing death, change, and transition as a part of lifeenables me to stay curious and open. The comfort seeking aspect of me sodesperately wants everything to be stable, constant and without change. This,we all know is a luxury that cannot be granted in a universe that is infinitelyexpanding. Aside from the obvious, we all seek change and progress, we just don’twant to acknowledge the mirror image of that….death.
The sooner we stop seeking for things to be stable, constantand without change, the better. The reconciliation of death, moving on, and lettinggo will be far less confronting, and we might find that managing change will bea less challenging process too.
The Magic of Fire
It felt late at night, I glanced at my watch to discover that it was only 8:47pm. There was something magical about fire…how it soothes one's soul, warms one's heart and calms one's mind. While it seemed as though I'd been staring into its playful rhythm for hours on end…barely 10 minutes had passed. It was a cold still night, and earlier I'd decided to build a nice campfire to lift my spirits following on from the past couple of days. This trip was supposed to be my chance to get away from it all and enrich myself with the basics, experiencing nature and eating simple food. Instead, I'd spent two days enduring some fierce weather that involved gale force winds, horizontal rain and less than ideal temperatures. Having endured all that mother nature could throw at me, it felt natural to want to enrich my experience by building a fire.
A task I normally take for granted, turned out to be a challenge that I hadn't anticipated. What is normally as easy as striking a match was now being hindered by the environment, a cold, wet and overall unpleasant campsite. I couldn't help but get annoyed with myself as I brought this suffering into my world. As it happened, the holiday I was seeking turned into the challenge that preventing me from experiencing the nourishment that I thought I so desperately needed. How is it that my planned escape from reality would unearth a new level of suffering when I was meant to be enjoying myself?.... Wrong question! At that point, I realised, by questioning why I wasn't enjoying myself I was becoming a victim of the situation, held hostage to the weather. I could only blame myself which ultimately, led me to more suffering. The better question to ask myself turned out to be far simpler. I was bloody cold, my socks were wet and I was getting more depressed by the minute. I really needed to make a fire…but it seemed hopeless. The right question was "Based on this crappy situation where all the kindling is wet and I have no dry wood, how do I get a bloody fire started?" It was at this point…at the threshold of giving up that it clicked for me. I discovered the magic of fire…..even in the absence of a flame.
"The right question was "Based on this crappy situation where all the kindling is wet and I have no dry wood, how do I get a bloody fire started?" It was at this point…at the threshold of giving up that it clicked for me. I discovered the magic of fire…..even in the absence of a flame."
After gorging myself with toasted marshmallows and hot chocolate the night before, I emerge from my not so dry tent to a smouldering pile of ash with no wood to get the fire started again. The reality was, my environment was constantly shifting and there was a rhythm within the complexity of the shift. Once I'd been camping for a week, I finally got into the discipline of searching for wood the day before I needed it, knowing that I'd be able to capitalise on the hot embers from the previous night in order to build up the fire again the following day. My focus had now shifted from creating fire to one of sustaining fire.
A fire has the power to mesmerize the most active mind and inspire hope in those that feel demoralised. The challenge to get a fire started is fuelled by anticipation of what that fire will create for you. I'd argue that one of the most powerful skills a person can ever learn is how to generate a fire both literally and figuratively. It is a fire that provides us with warmth, the ability to cook our food and provide light for us to see. Regardless of what is happening around you, a fire has an uncanny ability to bring people together in a way that encourages friendship and collaboration.
My experience got me thinking about organisational culture and more specifically, how we create that same magic that fire inspires in a business context.
Most organisational change stories can be linked back to a visionary CEO that paved we way through great leadership and a relentless focus on people. Unfortunately, like in the academic world, we don't ever hear about the many hundreds of unsuccessful experiments that never got published but simply hear about the one or two success stories that gain notoriety. Similarly, in the right conditions, the simple flick of a match can set fire to a blaze that can burn brilliantly without much effort whatsoever. The Australian bushland is notorious for its catastrophic bush fires that can even be a result of a rogue lightning strike.
In contrast, a deliberate and orchestrated change in culture is all too often met with an insurmountable brick wall that further reinforces that change is hard, not for the faint-hearted, fails more often than it succeeds and for most…can't really be changed despite what all the culture change specialists tell us. Culture evolution on the other hand (non-deliberate) simply represents reality, the very nature of how we and the organisation as a system operate. It will change and must change…. regardless of how deliberately we direct or sculpt the shift. The distinction here is that the culture of an organisation is always changing whether we like it or not. The issue with traditional culture change is that it follows a linear ( from x to y, time 1 to time 2) change process for something that is constantly changing anyway. Simply put, if you know it's about to rain do you wash your car? If you're about to move to a new house would you change the layout of your bedroom? If your organisation is about to go through a restructure do you pull everyone together for a team building offsite?
Back to my analogy of fire……too often, culture is limited to a discussion that revolves around the immediate environment and what you get from it…be it experience or tangible "stuff". My desk, my fruit, my massage fairies, my manager, my team, my tasks, my car space, my salary, my processes, my systems…and the list goes on. How we currently conceptualise culture and the change we aspire to create is very much about what people "get" as a result of the change. WIIFM is the approach that most consultancies and HR practitioners use to determine if people are going to jump on board the rusty old change bus they so religiously keep refuelling year after year. The reality is, the sooner that we see the environment as something that either fuels or hinders our culture, the better. In order to create something sustainable, the environment (emotional and physical) needs to be recognised as:
- Constantly in a state of flux and change so nothing stays the same
- A critical factor that influences my mindset, behaviour, and success
- Something that is within my control to enhance
When camping, fire is an essential ingredient to ensure that one returns home feeling fully rejuvenated. Ever tried camping in the rain? More specifically, ever tried lighting a fire when you are camping and it just so happens to be raining? Yeah……not the most fun you've had I'm sure. What's more, is the need for fire when it's raining is so much greater. You are most likely wet and cold and can't find any dry wood….so it's hard to get that first spark going. Even if you do happen to get a flame going, keeping it going is even harder!
Applying this thinking within organisations, we are only ever setting camp up temporarily (ok so I'm sure there are a few ‘lifers' out there challenging this notion, but for most, they join an organisation knowing that it's not forever). We know it's going to be an experience, we know we need to generate a fire and we know we will need to take our constantly changing environment into consideration in order to do so. We also know if we depend on anyone else to build a fire for us or expect that it's already going to be lit and sustained before we get to camp…..we may have made some pretty poor assumptions.
"We also know if we depend on anyone else to build a fire for us or expect that it's already going to be lit and sustained before we get to camp…..we may have made some pretty poor assumptions."
The truth is, before you build a fire, you need to survey the environment when you arrive. Often, we have an idea of what the environment is like but when we finally arrive at our destination, we see it for what it is. Are you experiencing a cold, wet, dark, windy campsite that is positioned smack bang on top of a smelly quagmire? If so, you know that starting a fire is 1) super important and 2) bloody difficult. The first thing you need to do is think about how you can increase your chances of being successful in getting the fire started because another certainty is that anyone else on the campsite is going to be facing the same challenges.
While fire certainly feels magic….there are some tangible steps you can take to build one.
- Step 1- Build a shelter: It doesn't need to be grand, but you do need somewhere that you can get out of the elements and enable yourself to start the process of creating a fire.
- Step 2- Gather some fuel: You need the fuel to get a fire cranking ready to go. Ideally, this is as dry as possible and starting with small kindling, increases incrementally as the fire increases in size.
- Step 3- Create a spark to get things cranking: The first spark is the hardest and will need fine attention to detail to ensure that it takes. This takes perseverance and patients when facing off against the elements. As painful as it is, you can't skip past this step and come back to it later.
- Step 4- Build it up and sustain: Now that you've got a good flame going, you need to carefully stack the wood on (without smothering it) to ensure that it builds up to the desired intensity. It's easy to get carried away at this stage and overdo it….either burning through all of your fuel unsustainably or snuffing it out completely.
- Step 5- Sit back and bask in the magic: Once you've got it cranking and found a rhythm and balance for the amount of fuel you need to keep feeding it, you can sit back relax and bust out the marshmallows. It's time to bask in the warmth that it throws offs, stare into the endless complexity and predictable unpredictability of the flames, share stories, laugh, engage and ultimately nourish yourself.
Rather than seeing the responsibility of culture as an HR thing or something that the CEO has to drive, think of culture as a whole group of people collectively taking responsibility for their own campsite, knowing full well that if they don't take the necessary steps to ensure they can build a fire in their current environment, they are likely going to get cold, have no light and nothing to eat. Having said all of that, if someone is in despair, there is usually a few free spots around the campfire for those in need. It takes nothing away from the fire to have an extra person experience its warmth.
My challenge to you…..take a look right now at your environment. What's the lay of the land….is there a storm coming? Are you experiencing a considerably frosty winter? Or is the environment more like the Australian bushland in the middle of January, hot dry and ready to burn? Regardless, you need to take the necessary steps to identify what it will take for you to understand your current situation, search for the necessary fuel and shelter, create the spark that takes you from the hope of generating fire to the reality of sustaining the level of light and warmth that you need. This is not a set-and-forget exercise but something that you need to adopt as part of your daily discipline. If you don't continually monitor your fire, you'll either end up burnt or your fire will simply flare up and go out.
'Crazy Busy' is bullshit
It’s Wednesday morning, you’ve dragged yourself out of bed following a restless night due to an ever expanding to-do list that seems to be spiraling out of control. After gulping down your first coffee for the day, you battle the rush-hour traffic before launching yourself into the first of a series of back to back meetings that prevent you from tackling your to-do list, which by now has almost doubled. By 3pm you’re on your 3rd coffee and bunkering down for a long evening as your boss kindly reminded you that since they are flying out tomorrow for a conference, they need your presentation pack no later than 9:00am so they can review it. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, your good mate texts you to confirm dinner plans that you’ve forgotten about. After replying with an apologetic text letting them know you won’t be able to make it, you focus-in on what needs to be done and power through your work. By the time you get home, it’s after 10, and you’re too tired to eat dinner. In fact, the only thing you can think about is retiring on the couch with a glass of wine and your favourite show on Netflix. If you’ve been quietly nodding to yourself while reading this, it’s likely that you’re not focusing on what’s most important to you. Unfortunately, the above scenario, or similar variant, is an all too common story for many people. What’s worse, it’s actually considered ‘normal’ and in some cases applauded or worn as a badge of honour.
"My advice; if you’re one of those ‘crazy busy’ people that smashes through your day, stop right now as it’s killing you"
When working with people that are wantingto improve their performance, productivity or personal wellbeing I like to askthem a simple but powerful question; “What’s most important to you right now?”.While some people take some time to respond, the answer rarely relates to ato-do list or even work related tasks. Not surprisingly, people refer to theirfamily, friends, making a meaningful contribution, doing what they love andinvesting in their health and wellbeing. You might then ask, “Why don’t people investtime on what they know is most important?”. You might even be thinking thatit’s all well and good to want to spend time with family and friends in lieu ofyour to-do list but will that lead you to success? Most people grit theirteeth, battle through and gravitate toward the ‘crazy busy’ whirlwind of lifein the fast lane. My advice; if you’re one of those ‘crazy busy’ people thatsmashes through your day, stop right now as it’s killing you. Moreover, byburning the candle at both ends, you are less likely to be successful in yourjob and in life. In a recent article published in the HBR, Stew Friedman introduceshis research which concludes that great performers make their personal lives apriority. Somewhat counterintuitively they enhance their performance at work byfocusing on what is meaningful in their lives, by staying true to themselvesand making sure they are aligned to their purpose.
So what can you do?
One final thought to leave you with. Dropthe belief that you need to be a certain way, meet somebody else’s expectationor ‘push through’ to be successful. Sustainable performance and harmony canonly be achieved when you align who you are (warts and all) with what you do.
- The first step is to gainawareness or get present to how you are operating. Do this by noticing how yourespond when people ask how you are. Do you respond honestly or do you simplythrow a “I’m crazy busy” cliché back at them.
- Secondly, once you gainawareness, you need to get really clear about what is most important to you. Ifthis is hard or you’re drawing a blank, think about someone you love and startthere.
- Thirdly, and definitely themost difficult, ask yourself frequently “right now, what is most important tome?”. This is likely to highlight gaps for you but it will also keep youhonest.
- Lastly, if you go down the pathof justifying why being ‘crazy busy’ is a good thing, I’d like to appeal toyour more practical side and ask that you stop bullshitting yourself (this ismy technical term for it).
If you could use a little help navigating your way through the 'crazy busy' nature of your world, let's connect.
Why is Executive Coaching Important?
People, engagement and culture – It’s life or death
I became a Psychologist because I have a deep fascination in understanding people and using this understanding to influence how they behave. To me, regardless of how it is perceived, all behaviour is simply ‘interesting’. When I first started working as an Organisational Psychologist, like many others, I was quickly introduced to the world of spreadsheets and data collection which, in truth, I found pretty draining and monotonous. Within my first few weeks I had compiled numerous presentations describing the engagement and culture of organisations but the work I was doing didn’t feel ‘real’. I couldn’t help but notice that the data looked quite similar from one organisation to the next and that the recommendations that went with that were somewhat generic. Of course, there were differences in the data but to what extent those differences were expressed in real behavioural terms was unknown to me at the time. After a few months, an opportunity arose to conduct some qualitative focus groups. In preparing for the brief, I reviewed the quantitative results and noted that they were pretty low (in the bottom 10% of the global database) and the CEO had flat out rejected the quantitative data and demanded that we go speak to the frontline to determine the ‘truth’, which in his mind, was that the engagement levels were some of the highest in the world. As my first road trip, I was extremely excited to be out and about but also to test my belief that the data may not be real and that the last few months of my career had'nt been a big fat waste of time.The client was a manufacturing and engineering organisation, 98% male with 0% females in leadership positions. In fact, the first group that I presented to was about sixty people of which I was informed at least two were female. They were so well disguised amongst the group (most likely out of self-preservation or fear) that it took me until the end of the session before I could point them out. So, there I was, in a room full of blokes that according to the data, were some of the most disengaged people on the planet. Was it real? I tried to ask myself that question at the time but the giant lump in my throat induced by a combination of fear, anxiety and utter disbelief confirmed it was valid. The reality was, the CEO was wrong. What I experienced from the group was deep seeded anger, bitterness, resentment and learned helplessness and this all confirmed what the data had first indicated. What’s worse is when presented with the 'qualitative truth' as requested, the CEO was adamant that we had made an error and that our research methodology was incorrect.There were a few important lessons from that first gig that I carry with me wherever I go.
- The data is real but represents a generalised view of what’s going on and often overlooks the important factors that reflect truth.
- Speaking to people and eyeballing the organisation is essential in determining the truth but needs to be complemented by some far reaching quantitative data.
- What the CEO and executive team choose to accept and believe determines the reality of the organisation. If they believe they are engaged, no data however compelling will convince them otherwise. There must be a level of openness and receptivity in order to create change.
- Ultimately, qualitative data represents the truth and quantitative data represents how generalisable that truth really is. The real power comes from interpreting them together.
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NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?
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A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825