Change = Death = Life
Full expression, in my opinion, is a representation of thehighest form of intelligence and why we are continuously drawn to those that canachieve full expression in their chosen field. From business leaders, athletes,musicians, sculptors, entrepreneurs, inventors, painters, poets, writers, and actors.Their uniqueness is undeniable, their genius fills us with curiosity and awebut the one thing we all share is the inevitability of facing death. Be it ourown death, that of a family member or friend or even somebody we don’tpersonally know but know of. Death and the change that it brings is an inevitablepart of life.
Like everyone, I’ve faced some tough and unusual situationsin my life thus far but one experience that has me stumped is facing death. Iwas largely spared this experience until I was 29 years old. I’d already had 4kids by that stage but somehow managed to evade facing the emotional challengeof death. Obviously, I had indirectly experienced death, but the emotionalimpact was something I was yet to feel. Like the saying ‘seeing is believing’ whenit comes to emotions ‘feeling is understanding’. I recall the moment I learnedof my Grandfather’s death. I was very objective and matter-of-fact about it.Intellectually, I was upset, but I didn’t feel anything initially. At first, Ithought there was something wrong with me as if I was cold and lacking emotion.It was 5 days after he died when I was delivering my eulogy, mid-sentencehalfway through the first paragraph that I started to feel the undeniable vacuumcreated by the void in my heart. I suddenly started to feel like I was implodingas if disappearing into the abyss of a black hole. Paralysed with confusion,unable to speak, I basically lost the plot and experienced the inevitablechange that comes with staring into the mirror of death.
Brett Whiteley, a master of translating life into art, was oneof my favourite artists of all time. I was a keen art student at high schooland spent many hours studying Whiteley’s work and while doing so, I stumbledacross the following statement CHANGE = DEATH.At first glance, it appears to be somewhat morbid and potentially a by-product ofhis well-documented drug abuse. Upon deeper reflection, the simplicity of thisinsight offers an explanation of why change continues to be the greatestinstigator of fear and resistance in our lives. With all change, comes death atone point or another. The challenge for us all is that when someone orsomething dies (i.e. ceases to exist) be it a person, job, relationship or idea,we struggle to see beyond the starkness of it ceasing. We aren’t taught toembrace the unknown, change that necessarily stems from the death of someone orsomething, which in essence, is a fundamental part of life.
"With all change, comes death at one point or another. The challenge for us all is that when someone or something dies (i.e. ceases to exist) be it a person, job, relationship or idea, we struggle to see beyond the starkness of it ceasing."
In organisations, we are constantly facing change. ThroughBrett Whiteley’s artistic lens, this change represents death, death ofsomething and with that comes the need to accept and let go. I’d like to build uponBrett Whiteley’s expression by adding life into the equation. The result is asfollows, CHANGE = DEATH = LIFE. Thework of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross describes the 5stages of grief which has since been adapted by John Fisher and relabelled asthe organisational change curve. While originally inspired by work withterminally ill patients, the applicability of this model to help people acceptand work through changes within an organisational context has proven to be verypowerful.
Why is it that we resist change so fiercely? This simpleanswer, it’s hard and it hurts. For the more scientifically robust answer, I’lldefer to the work of Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky regarding loss aversion.Through their work on behavioural economics, we know that the loss ofsatisfaction associated with losing $100 is greater than the gain insatisfaction associated with winning $100. In simple terms, we find it harderto let things go than it is to receive. Have you ever noticed what happens whenthe CFO decides to restrict access to stationary? Take away the weekly fruitdelivery? Or limit the selection of tea people have to choose from? Thebitching and moaning this causes, not to mention the loss in productivity, isfar greater than the positive affect created when the benefits were first introduced!
Like many of you, right now, I’m facing the prospect of deathin my family, change in my work, and transition in my personal life. While itnever gets easier, embracing death, change, and transition as a part of lifeenables me to stay curious and open. The comfort seeking aspect of me sodesperately wants everything to be stable, constant and without change. This,we all know is a luxury that cannot be granted in a universe that is infinitelyexpanding. Aside from the obvious, we all seek change and progress, we just don’twant to acknowledge the mirror image of that….death.
The sooner we stop seeking for things to be stable, constantand without change, the better. The reconciliation of death, moving on, and lettinggo will be far less confronting, and we might find that managing change will bea less challenging process too.