Who needs coaching anyway?
In my last article, I explored what coaching is and how it might benefit anyone that is curious. Following on from this, I wanted to explore the question of who might need it.
The obvious answer to this question is everyone. However, there is a bit more to it than that. First and foremost, the coachee is taking on the role of a learner, and as with any type of learning you need to be up for it. When I was completing my Higher School Certificate (HSC), I recall how disengaged I was in my English class, reluctantly reading ‘Macbeth’ and ‘The Crucible’ in what felt like some sort of punishment. Ironically, once I completed my final exams I had a stack of books beside my bed that included ‘The catcher in the rye’, ‘Crime and punishment’, ‘In the skin of a lion’ ‘Doors of perception’ and ‘A clockwork orange’. Clearly, my choice in books following the HSC rules out avoiding a challenging read. The only thing that shifted is my mindset. Specifically, it was that I got to choose what I wanted to learn.
Mindset Matters
When engaging with your coach, if you feel as though you are being given the ‘required reading’ it’s never going to work. You need to want to learn, engage, and be willing to experiment with your coach. I recently wrote an article entitled ‘How coachable are you?’ detailing the traits that I believe lead to a successful coaching experience when embodied by both coach and coachee. Above all else, coaching will be rewarding when grounded on openness, curiosity, and a willingness to learn. In addition, below is a list of common patterns of behaviour that I know can benefit from the value coaching has to offer. I’m not a big fan of labels, but it does help people identify and diagnose where they, or somebody they know, tends to fit. Have a look at the below descriptors and see if you can identify your patterns of behaviour.
Personality Matters
The Floater - This is somebody feeling disengaged with their work, their relationships and their life in general. They don’t feel like anything is wrong as such, but they lack purpose and conviction in what they do. They want more out of life but they’re also comfortable. Deep down they know they are missing out but struggle to conjure up the motivation to do anything about it. They often say to themselves ‘Is this it?….I expected more out of life’. With the right coach, they will re-connect with what energizes them and start contributing to their own life again.
The Self Saboteur - There are many and varied reasons why these people engage in self-sabotage, but they do. This can look like staying out late before an important meeting, presentation or interview, to speaking poorly about their friends or colleagues behind their backs. They actively jeopardise their personal relationships with risky behaviour, emotionally charged attacks and combative discussion. They know that they are ‘out of line’ but just aren’t sure how to control themselves. They often describe themselves as their own worst enemies and greatly benefit from the support and guidance offered by a coach.
The Imposter - They may or may not be suffering from what’s commonly known as ‘Imposter Syndrome’ but they definitely question their capability. They often find themselves asking ‘why me?’ if selected to lead an important project or take on a leadership role. Their humility works against them and tends to erode their confidence to the point that others take note. A coach will challenge them to lead more powerfully, doing away with any self-doubt.
The Know-it-all - These are the last people on the planet that will voluntarily seek out coaching. That is of course because they believe they have nothing to learn. They appear pompous, arrogant, aloof and are often very clever in a book smart sort of way. Vulnerability is like their Kryptonite. They don’t like being around people that show vulnerability and cringe at the idea of being vulnerable themselves. Their self-awareness is typically low so should they engage in coaching, it will likely be a challenging road ahead for both coach and coachee.
The Go-Getter - Highly ambitious, these people are keen to use any advantage they can get to ensure they hit their goals. They are open to being challenged, want to know the answers and are eager to test things out. They are usually conscientious, driven, hard-working and fast-paced. Their hunger to learn is a great match for coaching as is the perspective they will gain from a skilled coach.
The Mentor - Whether they have the formal role of mentor or not, these are the people always counselling others, giving their time and energy to everyone around them. They love their role as an adviser but often describe having low levels of energy, high levels of frustration and find it difficult to ask for help. They are often more senior and have high levels of experience so their positioning in the organisation and in life makes it hard for them to seek support. A coach is critical for these people to ensure they can continue to provide their leadership to others without suffering exhaustion or burnout.
Context Matters
It addition to the behaviour patterns above, there are circumstances created by the environment that coaching can help with too. These include:
Change in job/role/career - This might be someone new to leadership, someone, that has been made redundant, someone looking to change their career or level up in their role. It can also include a leader looking to re-orient their team, engage their workforce or enhance the culture. When facing such challenges, a coach can help overcome blockers and navigate through the choppy waters.
Personal challenges - As much as some people like to believe that they can keep personal and work life separate, they can’t. This is especially true when your personal life falls apart. For most people, talking about their terminally ill parents, kids struggling with sexual identity, messy break-ups, financial problems, and overall family drama is not something to raise in the Monday morning meeting. While I’d like to think that managers out there can handle these types of conversations, many of us can present evidence to suggest otherwise. Having a coach enables people to express their challenges without feeling judged and to openly discuss what support is available to them. The difference a single conversation can make to a person can mean the difference between life and death. Unfortunately, we have a long way to go as a society in remedying this challenge.
Relationship Conflict - This largely depends on the experience of the coach, but odds are your coach has exceptional communication skills and is, therefore, able to help resolve relationship challenges. This is different to a formal mediation process initiated by Human Resources (which is, of course, the right thing to do when complaints have been raised). I’m referring to the point before the conflict is escalated so there is still hope of working through any differences. This can be between individuals or even for a whole team but certainly depends on the capability and experience of the coach.
Performance issues - This one comes with a caveat that a coach should never be used to replace the role of a manager. If however, there are known performance issues and the employee has been placed on a clear performance improvement plan, coaching is a powerful way for the organisation to demonstrate a genuine desire for them to succeed. The assumption here is that the employee acknowledges and agrees there is an issue with their performance and are committed to doing everything it takes to lift their game.
High performance - Unfortunately, when people and teams demonstrate great performance in their role or on a project, they are usually ‘rewarded’ with extra work due to their competence. They can sometimes be pushed into a leadership role before they are ready, commonly known as the ‘Peter Principle’. They get pushed and pulled around the organisation feeling pressured to maintain their reputation, slowly becoming less engaged. Too often, they are overlooked as candidates for coaching because their numbers are good, their projects are on time, and ‘you already have a plan’ for them. As a coach, what’s great about working with high performing people is they are so driven to improve. Giving them a coach is like fanning the flames of their personal growth and development.
As you can gather, coaching can be applied to a variety of personality types across a myriad of situations. What remains consistent in successful coaching engagements is the mindset of openness, curiosity and willingness to learn. If you’ve taken one thing from this article, I hope it’s strong agreement that coaching matters.
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A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME
I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.
If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825