Toxic Triangles: Why your team keeps failing
When the team was at its worst and I was contemplating my next step, a conversation I’d had with a mentor a few years earlier sprang to mind. I had been explaining to him my challenges with one of my colleagues which most likely sounded like me having a ‘bitch session’. I could see he was growing tired of the conversation so he cut me off by asking “Has this colleague of yours given you a license?”…I replied, “Ummm…sorry, not sure what you mean”. He then said, “The way you are speaking about them, it’s as if they’ve given you a license to talk shit about them”. Realising what he was getting at I said “Yeah…but I’m not sure they are willing to listen to some of my challenges…and it would just turn into an argument anyway”. He replied with “It doesn’t matter, unless you’ve earned your license by having the conversation with them first, bitching and talking crap about each other is toxic for the culture…you’ve got to cut it out”. I was taken aback, I’d never really considered myself to be the bitching type before, but he was right. For the next couple of days, I got really conscious of my behaviour and I noticed how many conversations I was having that I was ‘unlicensed’ to have. I felt terrible, I had unwittingly been part of creating a toxic culture. Having recalled that lesson, here I was again, caught up in a toxic culture where people were talking about each other, not to each other.
Learning how to learn: The infinite pattern
2020 is already becoming the most challenging year most people have ever experienced. Rather than fill your newsfeed with strategies to ‘Lead through uncertainty’ or ‘manage your team via zoom’, I wanted to share what I learned in 2005, 15 years ago. Joseph Campbell’s work on the Hero’s journey inspired me to create the infinite pattern which I’ve used to recount my experience.
The war for attention: A challenge for future leaders
For decades organisations have been focussed on how to win the “War for talent”. This concept of attracting and retaining the best people for your organisation to beat the competition has been studied and written about extensively. Billions of dollars are invested by the largest organisations in the world every year to ensure they win this so-called “war”. Reason being, it’s hard to find talented people, and even harder to keep them. Before you tune-out and move onto the next story in your newsfeed let me hold your attention for a moment longer. If you want to win, stop focussing on trying to “win” new talent and start focussing on how you harness the attention of the talent you already have. A room full of highly talented people that are constantly distracted is far less productive than a room full of average people who are highly focussed.
The Fishbowl: Real life, Real people, Real cases | Adam Camerlengo
As part of my regular posts, I’m introducing a new series called ‘The Fishbowl’ that focusses on real people and how they self-reflect, prioritise, make decisions and show up in the world. It takes courage to put yourself out there and share aspects of who you are and what you believe has shaped you and your life. However, I strongly believe (and my experiences and my clients’) suggest that when you demonstrate courage and show a bit of vulnerability, it enables you to grow and expand. For anybody reading this, take the opportunity to self-reflect and potentially see yourself in their stories and learn from their own insights and courage. You never know, you too might feel compelled to share a bit more of who you are with the world….what’s the worst that could happen?
It’s not at all about winning…but it’s all about winning : The paradox of life
“It’s been a rough week,” said one of the other dads standing on the sideline pre-match, thermos in hand at the ready. I gave him a wry smile followed by a confirmatory nod, acknowledging that I too was weary from the five back to back losses our boys had experienced over the preceding three days. Not only that, we’d been battling the bitter cold dished up by Canberra mornings; frost, biting wind, and a little bit of drizzle for extra misery. You see, our boys’ team was firmly lodged at the bottom of the ladder in the soccer tournament, about to play their last match against an undefeated team secured at the top of the ladder. With heavy hearts, everyone was expecting another loss.
Emotions trump talent and purpose: Like a kite without a string
It was windy, very windy, the perfect day to fly a kite. I was about 12 years old and the proud owner of a stunt kite…you know the triangular shaped ones that do loops and spins once you’ve learned how to master them. Well, given the wind was blowing I thought I’d take my kite for a spin but not just as it was, I wanted to see how high it could go so I craftily enhanced it by tying an extra 200metres of 30-pound fishing line onto the existing string. This was going to be good! I appealed to a couple of mates to come to join me but to no avail. I didn’t care…the excitement of flying my stunt kite in near gale forced winds with an extra 200 metres of line propelled me to my destination.
