Toxic Triangles: Why your team keeps failing
When the team was at its worst and I was contemplating my next step, a conversation I’d had with a mentor a few years earlier sprang to mind. I had been explaining to him my challenges with one of my colleagues which most likely sounded like me having a ‘bitch session’. I could see he was growing tired of the conversation so he cut me off by asking “Has this colleague of yours given you a license?”…I replied, “Ummm…sorry, not sure what you mean”. He then said, “The way you are speaking about them, it’s as if they’ve given you a license to talk shit about them”. Realising what he was getting at I said “Yeah…but I’m not sure they are willing to listen to some of my challenges…and it would just turn into an argument anyway”. He replied with “It doesn’t matter, unless you’ve earned your license by having the conversation with them first, bitching and talking crap about each other is toxic for the culture…you’ve got to cut it out”. I was taken aback, I’d never really considered myself to be the bitching type before, but he was right. For the next couple of days, I got really conscious of my behaviour and I noticed how many conversations I was having that I was ‘unlicensed’ to have. I felt terrible, I had unwittingly been part of creating a toxic culture. Having recalled that lesson, here I was again, caught up in a toxic culture where people were talking about each other, not to each other.
What's the value of coaching? Is it really worth it?
Like any ‘new’ (relatively speaking) area of practice, executive coaching has had its fair share of scrutiny regarding the Return On Investment, the efficacy, and ultimately the value it generates. There is a growing body of evidence supporting what we already knew, effective coaching has a positive and observable impact on employee performance, engagement, wellbeing, self-regulation, goal attainment, and transformational leadership (Burt & Talati, 2017; Teebom et, at, 2014; Jones, et.al, 2016; O'Connor & Cavanagh, 2014). In other words, it works and if you’re smart, you’ll seek out coaching for yourself, your team and make it accessible to the rest of the organisation.
Organisational Culture: Art or Science?
In every moment, you experience something which you can reflect upon. In that same moment, another person experiences you at that moment which they can reflect upon. Imagine that it’s as if we are all walking around like shards from a broken mirror, each reflecting our experience into another person’s reflection, we confirm our own beliefs through our behaviours and our relationships. Our bonds with others are solidified when they reinforce our behaviour and therefore demonstrate that they too share our beliefs. I’ll step out of metaphor for a moment just in case I lost you. Simply put, as individuals that turn up to work every day, what we believe shapes what we do and what we do shapes who we develop relationships with. Our relationships then reinforce our beliefs and so the cycle continues. These three elements are what forms culture or what I also call ‘the brand’. The culture or brand of your organisation is an expression of the shared beliefs, behaviours and bonds that exists within the organisation and externally with your suppliers, customers and marketplace. There is one overarching element that has a governing role when it comes to influencing culture. That is the environment or background that your organisation is nested in.
Do you lead with Guilt or Shame?
As many of you right now, my calendar is full of end of year gatherings, parties, kids’ performances, presentations etc. It can be hard to juggle priorities and ensure that you give everyone the attention they deserve. In my case, with four kids, this is always a challenging time of year when it comes to getting to everything and being a supportive, loving parent whilst maintaining my sanity.
Performance Management vs Performance Investment: The devil is in your intentions
Feeling shellshocked, Paul left the meeting room feeling confused. Words that his manager had used like ‘disappointed’, ‘commitment’, ‘performance’, and ‘proactivity’ were all jumbled up in his head. The message was that Paul needed to lift his performance as his manager had been disappointed with the results; he needed to show a bit more proactivity and commitment. It was then followed up with, “we’re here to support you to be successful”. Paul knew his probation was due to finish up in exactly four weeks. Blinded by his emotions, Paul agreed to ‘lift his game’ while suppressing the noise his guts were making as they churned with fear.
It’s not at all about winning…but it’s all about winning : The paradox of life
“It’s been a rough week,” said one of the other dads standing on the sideline pre-match, thermos in hand at the ready. I gave him a wry smile followed by a confirmatory nod, acknowledging that I too was weary from the five back to back losses our boys had experienced over the preceding three days. Not only that, we’d been battling the bitter cold dished up by Canberra mornings; frost, biting wind, and a little bit of drizzle for extra misery. You see, our boys’ team was firmly lodged at the bottom of the ladder in the soccer tournament, about to play their last match against an undefeated team secured at the top of the ladder. With heavy hearts, everyone was expecting another loss.
The cliché of poor communication
If you ask someone if they are a good driver, most people will indicate that they are above average. This is also true for intelligence, leadership, and even communication. This phenomenon is known as the Dunning-Krueger effect. Basically, most of us have an inflated sense of our capability regarding pretty much everything we do. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule (of course you are thinking you are one of them) but mostly, it’s true. What’s even scarier is that those of us that are most incompetent overestimate our abilities to a greater extent.
5 Reasons why perspective matters
I distinctly remember the first time I created a sculpture.My art teacher had decided that a boy in our class who suffered from rheumatoidarthritis would need to sit on a chair positioned on top of the tables so wecould all observe him as our “subject”. I remember feeling sorry for the guy ashe was mildly disfigured due to his disease. I wasn’t sure if the teacher hadasked him to be the subject for this reason…. or had he nominated himself tohave a whole class full of students use his body as the subject matter fortheir sculpture.
