Stop watching from the sidelines and get amongst it!
I’m a full-blown unapologetic martial arts fan. Everybodywho knows me understands that regardless of what form, what country, whatlanguage, if it involves two people duelling it out using their bodies todefeat their opponent, then I’m in….and I’m not the only one.
When I was about 11 years old, I recall being at home ‘sick’(which may or may not have been legitimate) and decided to rent some videosfrom the local video store (my 4 kids still find it crazy that I used tophysically walk to the store and rent a video cassette that I had to physicallyput in a machine before I could watch a movie). They had a special on at thetime so you could rent 7 ‘weekly’ movies for $7. I was drawn to the martialarts section so decided to load up on some Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee…….and soit began.
Bruce Lee soon became my hero and while there weren’t anyKung Fu schools in Lismore, I started doing Karate. I continued with martialarts for a couple of years but then life got in the way, I moved to a new house,changed schools and all of my extra-curricular activities altered too.
Fast forward 23 years, marriage, 4 kids, 2 degrees and abusy career, my love affair with martial arts was even stronger but I was atotal observer. My wife and I decided that Karate would be great for our kids asit offered some strong values, taught them confidence, kept them physicallyactive and enabled them to further reinforce their Japanese language skills….allpositive. Deep down, I had another agenda and that was to live out my fantasyof being a martial arts superstar vicariously through my kids. My weekends soonbecame peppered with karate tournaments, seminars, demonstrations and tests ofcourage. I was in heaven….all while watching from the sidelines behind mycamcorder.
Every now and then, someone would ask, “have you ever donekarate?” or “have you thought about joining?”. I would always answer in a predictablematter of fact way. “Yeah….I did it when I was a kid but you know….life tookover so had to quit” and “I’m a bit old for it now….maybe when I was in mytwenties, but not now”. The truth is, I desperately wanted to join but I hadthis bullshit story going on in my head that people would laugh at me and thatI wouldn’t be able to find the time. My body was stiff as hell from years ofsitting hunched over a desk so the thought of trying to kick at head height wasinsane! I could just imagine my hip joint popping out of its socket and neverbeing able to walk again! So….I dutifully dropped off my kids and picked themup 3 times a week, took them to tournaments, pushed them to fight, massagedtheir injuries, encouraged them to continue when it got hard, etc. But…. I wasstill observing from the sideline.
"The truth is, I desperately wanted to join but I had this bullshit story going on in my head that people would laugh at me and that I wouldn’t be able to find the time."
About 4 years ago, I was sitting with a client one morningand he mentioned that he’d just come from his dojo, where he had been training.He proceeded to explain how he got into martial arts, through taking his kidsalong and decided to stop watching from the sidelines and give it a go. Thiswas the spark that I needed, the prod that I was looking for……but I stilldidn’t join.
Three years ago, I made the decision to join Karate and, get out of my own way. Making the decision wasn’t enough, you see, the karate that my kids and I do (Shinkyokushinkai) is known as the strongest form of karate in the world because of it’s gruelling training regimen and physical conditioning techniques. The style is designed for full contact bouts so fighting is a core component of learning Shinkyokushinkai. I quickly learned that that the decision that I’d made wasn’t at all the hard part…the training was. Many have questioned the training methods and the constant push to improve one’s capability but I’ve come to love the will, mentality, and spirit that is at the core of Shinkyokushinkai. The literal translation of Shinkyokushinkai means the ultimate truth. When you are exhausted, are fighting someone bigger and stronger than you and can barely stand….that’s when you start to appreciate what the ‘ultimate truth’ is all about. In a nutshell, it’s about never giving up. Always having a go and mustering up the courage to push through what you thought wasn’t possible. If you're still wondering how this might be relevant, I’ve often heard HR directors and CEOs refer to leadership and business as a ‘contact sport’ respectively. It wasn’t until I engaged in a full-on combat sport, that I started to appreciate the meaning behind their words. You can't lead people or run a business through observing on the sidelines, you need to get amongst it and sometimes this results in a bloody nose.
"You can't lead people or run a business through observing on the sidelines, you need to get amongst it and sometimes this results in a bloody nose."
What often looks like a mindless brawl is a test of will,courage, and spirit between two people that understand the benefit of challengingthemselves against someone worthy. Through my studies of martial arts andcombined years of a collective admiration of those in my dojo and famousfigures alike, I’d like to invite you to explore in yourself the following insightsthat practicing martial arts has taught me to live by.
Never give up.This insight is pretty simple and doesn’t really need an explanation. I knowthere is an academic argument for when it makes sense to give up. etc. etc.Basically, it’s all rubbish. Giving up is an expression of ‘it’s too hard’ or‘I don’t like it anymore’ or ‘I’m not seeing the progress that I want to’ or‘it’s a big-time commitment’. To this, I say, bullshit. Get over yourself andget on with it. If you’ve got a broken hand, don’t punch with that fist. Ifyou’re sick, don’t push yourself too hard. This is not about hurting yourself;it’s about showing up. Too often, we willingly take the easy road becausethat’s what most people do.
It’s about consistency and frequency. It never comes down to a single bout, test, grading, belt, competition or training session. It’s about weaving together your decision to live by your ‘ultimate truth’ in every moment. There is nothing magical about it….just hard work and persistence. I’ve worked with thousands of people that have expressed their most compelling aspirations to me, yet aren’t willing to do what it takes to make it come to life. It’s in those moments that you know most people would give up….and if you did, nobody would judge you. Those moments are the turning points or thresholds that you need to cross within yourself. Some might question how to recognise such a moment….to them I say, if all of you wants to run and hide then you’ve found it….you need to stare yourself down and persevere.
Keep showing up and making progress. I know not everyone likes combat sports so my suggestion isn’t to go join your local dojo (although I highly recommend it and guarantee you will discover ‘the truth’…whatever that means to you). I do, however, invite you to stop watching from the sidelines, encouraging others, living in a fantasy world or putting everyone else first. Who cares if you’re crap or don’t know what you’re doing or even if you look like an idiot. It’s through the process of having a go that you’ll discover what drives you, what scares you and what sparks something powerful. It’s about making progress and pursuing a better version of yourself, every day. I
If you'd like to learn more about how I can help you step into life, stop being an observer and start developing who you are, make contact with me here or book in a free 30 min chat to kick start things for you.