The 5 Laws Governing your Leadership Legacy

I’d like you to imagine that you’re in a hospital surrounded by medical professionals, machines beeping, people rushing about, and a heaviness is surrounding everybody. You feel it too as you know that you must make a choice. The doctors have so professionally outlined all the pros and cons associated with either choice you make but the final decision lies with you…and you alone. You’re feeling a little bit angry at the situation, it’s not fair that this decision rests squarely on your shoulders….is it? You feel cornered like you’re being pressured into making the wrong decision…will you? You wish somebody else could just tell you what you need to do…. don’t you?

14 years ago, I was facing such a choice. My wife was pregnant with our first child who was due to be born in about two and a half months. Everything had been going so smoothly that I kept having to remind myself that she was pregnant. That all changed when things got complicated. During a routine check-up, our doctor recognised that things weren’t quite right. Our son was at risk of being born a couple of months early so my wife was hospitalised and put on bed rest. We were given a flying tour of the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) where all the premature babies were cared for. I had a hard lump in my throat as we were being ‘inducted’ knowing that I would soon be joining the other sleep-deprived parents staring at their babies longingly; their view obscured by the Perspex walls of the humid-i-crib and the bunch of tubes and wires that represent an artificial umbilical cord. I was numb, I couldn’t really feel anything.

The ‘big’ day

She’d been on bed rest for two weeks now so I’d convinced myself that the baby would be born normally and we wouldn’t need to be in the NICU. That morning, I got a call from the hospital that the baby was coming….the lump in my throat hardened. Upon arrival, I did my best to reassure my wife that everything was going to be ok. That’s when the doctor mentioned some of the other problems. The baby’s position wasn’t normal (he was bum first) so a natural birth would be difficult. We could choose surgery but that also came with its risks for my wife and our baby. Overwhelmed with emotion, my wife wanted me to make the decision.

My choice

I chose a natural birth option. This was potentially the riskiest for both mother and baby but also the best option if they both made it through. Given the complex situation, we had 6 doctors in the room. I felt so small, helpless and insignificant. I was only 24 years old and the lump in my throat was so tight now, I could barely speak. The next few hours were a slow-motion blur resulting in my son being born naturally. The nurses quickly jumped into action as he wasn’t breathing, and his heart had stopped. Feeling the relief of giving birth my wife looked over at me for reassurance that he was ok. That moment stood still…..what was likely only 10 seconds felt like hours. Not knowing how to respond to my wife’s gaze, I looked on as the doctors and nurses were trying to revive our son. My wife squeezed my hand and asked ”is he ok”? It was at that moment that I heard what sounded like a gurgling noise that was reminiscent of a scene from Jurassic park. For the first time in two weeks the lump in my throat had softened…I could finally speak unhindered “He’s going to be fine”….I said.

Leadership Legacy

Leadership is about showing up in a way that represents who you are. Legacy is about defining how you are remembered. Having worked with thousands of people in their pursuit of being great leaders I’ve seen the very best and the very worst of Leadership Legacy. As highlighted by my own experience with my wife and first son, how you show up in difficult situations defines how you will be remembered. There is no ‘right’ or ‘known’ path for great leadership but we all know it when we see it. A great piece of research outlined by Gallup references the ‘four needs of followers’ by simply asking a group of 10 000 managers to describe the traits of a leader that has had a significant positive impact on their life. The results of their study showed four common themes that emerged. Great leaders were characterised by Trust, Hope, Stability and Compassion. While great leaders make mistakes all the time, we tend not to remember them for what they got wrong, but more so for all of what they did right. How do great leaders create such a positive experience for those around them?

The Five laws

Through my own work coaching leaders, I’ve observed some universal truths that guide the actions of those that are aligned with their leadership legacy. Below is a brief summary of these universal truths that can be used as guiding principles for those that want to accelerate their own development and more fully live in alignment with their legacy.

Law 1 | Listen with depth – Great leaders are brilliant listeners not just of the words being said but also to that which is unsaid. The ability to truly listen requires more than just your ears. As Malcom Gladwell wrote in his book ‘Blink’, your ability to process micro-expressions, be aware of your own biases, and draw conclusions under extreme pressure all happens within the blink of an eye. Oscar Trimboli’s fantastic book ‘Deep listening’ expertly guides us through the different levels of listening starting with self then moving through to meaning. Oscar also reminds us of the need to be mindful of your shadow or unconscious listening behaviours which prevent you from listening deeply.

Law 2 | Learn with endless vigour – We all intuitively know that when we are learning we have more energy, feel motivated, engaged, and connected. We also know that sometimes learning can feel hard, especially when you reach a plateau. Great leaders relentlessly commit to their learning which takes humility. While having an outcome focussed mindset is great for kicking goals, we tend to focus less on the process of learning if we are too focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. In my own practice of juggling, yoga and martial-arts I am continually reminded that there is no end goal. Being present and connected to daily practice is indeed the intention. Some days you are strong, while on other days things just don’t click. This is also a part of the learning process which requires consistency, dedication, persistence, and discipline. In the pursuit of mastering an ability, we learn how to master ourselves. Self-mastery is self-leadership.

Law 3 | Liberate yourself and others – Almost all of what prevents us from achieving that which we most desire exists solely in our own head. Great leaders can separate their past experiences from the meaning they attach to them. It’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s what you make it mean that causes all your suffering. Being able to transcend your past, and let go of your hang-ups will give you the freedom to truly lead. Doing this for yourself provides you with the capacity to liberate others. Keep in mind that this is not a one-trick pony. We are constantly wired to interpret what happens to us in a way that is meaningful and makes sense. The sooner you realise that this is how we have evolved to feel safe and in control but won’t help you succeed, the better. To grow and lead, you must embrace your fear and the inherent meaninglessness associated with your experiences.

Law 4 | Link people, concepts, and experiences– To quote Paul Kelly “From little things big things grow”. My interpretation,  our thoughts represent where we choose to focus our attention, which drives our behaviour, which creates outcomes. The thousands of thoughts driving our behaviour and outcomes everyday form our identity. Who we hang out with, what we choose to do in our spare time, the TV we watch, the partners we choose, the work we do, the products we buy, all represent ripples on a pond. The pond being the universe and a thought represents a pebble tossed into the calm water. The more pebbles we toss the more ripples that form. When the ripple caused by my pebble collides with yours, we start to see how complex and messy things can get. Great leaders recognise that all things are linked. Knowing the far-reaching nature of these connections arms leaders with the wisdom to act with integrity. A pebble thrown with accuracy will cause a ripple effect that’s both beautiful, intentional, and knows no bounds.

Law 5 | Love with courage – As Steven Covey wrote in his book ‘The seven habits of highly effective leaders’ love is what you do and who you are being, not what you are feeling. If you no longer feel in love with your work, your partner, or your life. It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself about what you are doing. By this I mean, how are you showing up in your relationship, to work, or in life? Are you always late? Ask yourself if this represents the actions of someone who loves their team, their partner, their friends or their family? Are your actions aligned with love? Or perhaps you drink too much alcohol? Ask yourself, is this what love looks like to you? Do you get angry with your kids and dominate them by yelling and screaming when they misbehave? Ask yourself, are your actions reflecting love? I know it’s hard and most of us get it wrong most of the time but it takes courage and vulnerability to behave in alignment with love. You might call this gratitude, acceptance, courage, expression, vulnerability, connection etc. Whatever you call them, they are all rolled into behaviours aligned with love. Great leaders are able to love knowing that they will get hurt, knowing that there is no other way to truly be.

Closing thoughts

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sharing these laws with you to ‘tell’ you what to do. I wrote this article off the back of the most common question I get from people when I’m coaching them. They ask “What do great leaders do?” or if they are honest “Do you think I have what it takes to be a great leader?”. The 5 laws come from great leaders that I’ve worked with, my own self-exploration, and through understanding the research of others. The laws represent what great leaders do. To answer everybody’s question – Do you have what it takes? Absolutely. If your willingness to love outweighs your fear of being hurt, you will succeed. Like my experience throughout my first son’s birth sometimes the best leadership comes in the form of knowing when not to speak or intervene. It takes leadership to accept that you don’t know what the outcome will eventually be and to trust the natural process by standing back to watch everything unfold.  One final thought; your leadership legacy is not governed by your title nor your authority, it is determined by your ability to lead with love.

It’s not at all about winning…but it’s all about winning : The paradox of life

“It’s been a rough week,” said one of the other dads standing on the sideline pre-match, thermos in hand at the ready. I gave him a wry smile followed by a confirmatory nod, acknowledging that I too was weary from the five back to back losses our boys had experienced over the preceding three days. Not only that, we’d been battling the bitter cold dished up by Canberra mornings; frost, biting wind, and a little bit of drizzle for extra misery. You see, our boys’ team was firmly lodged at the bottom of the ladder in the soccer tournament, about to play their last match against an undefeated team secured at the top of the ladder. With heavy hearts, everyone was expecting another loss.

The pressure of expectation

Earlier in the week, the boys started out strong, winning their first match comprehensively. In some ways, this set them up for the expectation that they could do very well in the tournament. In contrast, their second match was an absolute disaster, outclassed in pretty much every way. They got crushed with a 6-0 defeat. Following on from that first day the losing streak was maintained. There was a predictable amount of controversy both on an off the field. Some questionable calls by the referee (who appeared to be barely 14 years old) were heavily influenced by the intimidating shouts coming from parents that value soccer more than life itself. Their screams resembling the snarls and growls of an angry dog, foaming at the mouth, ready to attack. Despite the rule of ‘silence on the sidelines’ there were some that couldn’t help it, their desire to win was too great even though they weren’t the ones playing the game.

The dangers of watching from the sideline

We’d all been looking forward to the tournament, knowing that the boys had worked hard to be there. We secretly expected them to do well….and held a desire to see them at least get through to the semi-finals…After all, it was entirely possible? After the jubilation of the first win, you could feel the excitement of the parents lift momentarily before the almost audible ‘thud’ following the first crushing defeat. On the surface, we all say to each other “it’s all about the boys having fun….” or “As long as they do their best and learn something, it will all be worth it”. In reality, what we want to say to each other is “It would be awesome to go home with the cup in hand our boys victors in the tournament” or “I’d love for my boy to experience the joy of being in a team that has what it takes to win against the toughest competition”. What became evident by the end of the week is that the parents were more invested in the team winning than the players were. The challenge with this position is that none of us was able to influence that which we were so invested in. We were powerless, confined to simply watch, support, observe, and stay silent. Victims of our own frustration.

The power of ‘showing up’

The boys are a group of talented young players. They train a couple of times a week and they are all good mates. They take their sport seriously and all have a deep seeded aspiration to become a great soccer player one day. They are however only 10 years old and having fun seems to be the most popular item on the menu. What’s refreshing is that even with the crushing defeats, the boys would get over it quickly. They didn’t dwell on the bad calls, the angry parents on the sidelines, the bullies on the other teams. They kept getting back up and dusting themselves off. Of course, they each had their moments where they were upset with their performance, made mistakes, and felt like they could have done better but they were persistent. They were playing to win but if they lost, the game wasn’t over for them. It’s almost as if they knew they were playing a bigger game of growth and development that was beyond the scope of the tournament.

The outcome

So, here we are, the final match that EVERYONE expects our boys to lose. I’d even had a work call scheduled for the first half so wouldn’t have to endure the assault but, as it often happens, my call was rescheduled. I was locked into watching the entire game. As they were warming up, another this other dad and I noted while sipping on our hot tea fresh from the thermos, that the boys seemed unusually vocal. They were talking to each other a lot. The chatter was positive and constant which created a vibe around the team. Their body language was ‘up’, they seemed confident…not about winning but about how they were going to play their game. Just before they ran onto the field, I grabbed my son’s attention and said “hey mate, what’s the plan”. He said, “We’re going to play to win and have fun”. What unfolded next was nothing short of glorious. The boys played their best game yet. It was a tight tussle which ended with a victory to our boys who managed to defeat the undefeated. What started as a melancholic conversation about the week that had been, ended with every parent giving each other high fives. As one of the parents, I know how tempting it is to remedy any situation with the cliché of “it’s not about winning…it’s about having fun”. Reality speaks a different language and that sounds more like “losing feels crap, especially if you know you can do better”. The trick is to keep playing to win even when you’ve been on a massive losing streak. While their campaign was over and the opposing team still progressed through to the semi-finals, they were later beaten in the semi’s and denied a place in the final that I’m sure they had their minds set on.

Leadership lessons from the sideline

Just in case you got caught up in the ‘story’ of it all, I thought it would be helpful to summarise some of the leadership lessons that spending a week with hopeful parents and a group of competitive 10-year-old boys has taught me.

1.       Expectations are poison – The best movie I ever saw was the one that I didn’t plan to see. I had no idea about the genre and the title gave nothing away so when I watched the film I was totally engaged, in-the-moment and enthralled. The opposite can be said of the worst movie I ever saw, the hype and expectations were so great that the movie couldn’t deliver. Similarly, when we have our heart set on an outcome such as a sporting event, academic achievement, relationship, job offer etc. We are living in a fantasy, one that is not grounded in the present moment. Don’t get me wrong, we need to set clear expectations at work to get results but when you find yourself drifting into the realm of fantasy, pull back, you’re ironically setting yourself up for a remarkable fall from grace.

2.       Is it about you…or them? – This is a tough one because nobody likes to admit that they have an ego and everyone likes to think that they put the needs of others before their own. The truth is, altruism is rare, and some would argue doesn’t really exist. I could tell myself that sacrificing a week of my time was all in the best interest of my son and his aspiration to be a soccer star but that wouldn’t be entirely true. I like watching him play soccer, I like watching the team succeed and deep down I feel part of that success which strokes my ego. At work, this can be seen often when teams or individuals are awarded recognition for outstanding achievement. Whether it’s the manager’s intention or not, it’s impossible not to connect oneself with the success of the team or individual. Like the parents cheering (or snarling) from the sideline, it’s a combination of wanting what’s best for the team and what’s best for you. Once you understand that you are indeed selfishly invested (at least a bit) you’ll be able to reconcile some of the anxiety or stress you feel when things aren’t quite going according to plan.

3.       Keep ‘showing up’ – Like much of life the ability to keep showing up is 90% of the battle. If we decide to stay in bed at the first hint of a challenge, we will likely never make it past the challenges of kindergarten. Regardless of how tough it is, how “it won’t make a difference” or “it’s hopeless”. The power of simply showing up and having a go carries more weight than anything else. Many people go through the motions, but this is not showing up. ‘Showing up’ can be defined as being present both physically and mentally to fully engage with the task at hand. The temptation to give up is strong especially when things aren’t going your way. It is in those moments that the truth about who you are and what you are capable of is revealed.  

4.       It’s not about winning, but it’s all about winning – Political correctness says that I should encourage my son to play for fun and not push him to be competitive. On this point, I fundamentally disagree and proudly admit that I encourage my son to play to win but make sure that he’s having fun in the process. I know he loves soccer and works hard to develop himself. I think it’s brilliant that at such a young age the boys all demonstrated a relentless commitment to their development as individuals in a team that wants to win. It’s that spirit, courage and tenacity that will enable all of them to succeed. In business, if you don’t win your customers’ hearts and minds, you lose. It’s tough, cold, relentless but in the real world, nobody is going to soften the blow for you. The balance is right when you’re doing something that you love, that matters, that’s worth fighting for but you also have fun with it.

5.       It’s all in your head – There are countless examples of people achieving extraordinary things that reinforce the same point. What your mind wants, your body will deliver and what your body delivers your mind wants. In other words, by thinking you create desire and by doing you gain satisfaction. If it’s combat-sports, extreme strength, cold exposure, wealth accrual, scientific breakthroughs, artistic expression, or motivational leadership; If people had used logical reasoning to achieve their goals, they would have quit long before their breakthrough. Possibilities will always remain unknown to you, that is until you do the impossible.

The moral of the story?

If you want to live a fulfilled life, behave like a bunch of 10-year-olds playing soccer in a competitive tournament. You’ll have your moments of glory, setbacks, mistakes, unfair calls, injuries, a bunch of tears and a whole lot of disappointment. Always play to win, but make sure you also play to have fun. If you’re feeling a bunch of pressure from some onlookers from the sideline ‘supporting’ you, don’t play for them, they are there for themselves as much as they are there for you. Play your own game

The Universe is a Dick!

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go perfectly wrong? It’s as if it doesn’t matter what you do, it feels like someone or something is conspiring against you…. like you’re being punished for something that you’ve done. About ten years ago, I got a phone call from one of my clients who was in a tough spot and he really needed to talk. He shared the following. He’d moved interstate to follow his heart, took a job offer which fell through, got evicted from his rental property and got a call from his mother to tell him that his father was on his deathbed. He booked a plane ticket home so he could go visit his father in hospital but before he got on the plane, his girlfriend…the one he followed his heart for letting him know she was no longer in love with him and had been seeing another man. Lost for words at the sheer volume of unfortunate events that had coincided I waited for him to break the silence. He simply said, “the universe is a dick”. On this point, at the time, I couldn’t disagree with him or offer any form of wisdom to counter it…so I readily adopted the phrase.

For a while, it sort of worked to shrug things off. It was a throw-away line that introduced some humour but also helped externalise what was going on. More recently, however, I’ve become increasingly aware of how framing your experience as the ‘will of the universe’ diminishes your own sense of responsibility and accountability. In other words, if I personify the universe as this entity that controls everything that happens to me, I’m very much at the mercy of the universe and any effort spent by me is therefore fruitless. In psychology, Julian Rotter called this having an external locus of control. If a person has an external locus of control, they tend to attribute the outcome to factors beyond their influence, such as the universe or god or somebody else’s fault. In contrast, those that have an internal locus of control tend to take ownership of the outcomes attributing their success or failure to their own actions. There is a body of research that suggests people with an external locus of control are happier in general because they hold a belief that there is something ‘bigger’ at play behind the fortunate and unfortunate events that transpire in their life. It’s a convenient answer to the problem that every single human being faces at some point or another, why do I exist? what does it all mean? and what am I hear to do? While I can’t answer the questions for you, I can indeed offer a perspective that might contribute to where you eventually decide to land.

The brain’s role

Indeed, what differentiates humans from other species in the animal kingdom is our consciousness and intelligence. What underpins our apparent advantage is the constant curiosity about the world and what it all means. From Darwin’s origin of species to Einstein’s theory of relativity, our brains arm us with this incredible curiosity to make it all make sense. My perspective; this insatiable need to explain every aspect of our world is the cause for much of the emptiness that people feel in modern society.

Shit happens whether you are in the driver’s seat or not. It’s what you make it mean that gets in the way. Horrible things happen to awesome people every single day...does it mean that the universe is ‘against’ them? Were they not a good person in a past life? Are they being punished for their bad behaviour? Is it bad Karma for treating others with disrespect?

The same could be said of someone who achieves greatness in the sporting arena, they can often be seen with arms outstretched looking to the skies offering their thanks to a power greater than themselves. They have attributed a portion of their success to the universe, their god or a higher being that they believe is in control of ‘the master plan’.

What’s really going on?

Take a gambler, for example, they may sit for hours on end at a poker machine anticipating the moment that they will become a winner. They create a ‘system’ for recognising patterns that they swear by. When they do have a win, it confirms their belief….we know this as the gambler’s fallacy. In fact, the gambler is suffering from a form of cognitive bias which lures the gambler into believing that their chances of winning are much higher than probability suggests. While many of us aren’t suffering from a gambling problem, the phenomenon Apophenia is another form of cognitive bias that can help explain why we need to make things ‘mean’ something. Apophenia is the human tendency to make connections between things that are otherwise unrelated. We’ve all experienced what’s commonly known as Murphy’s law or Sod’s law. This is the belief that if something is going to go wrong, it will. In fact, there is no scientific basis to explain this phenomenon other than how our brains draw connections between otherwise unrelated events.

Why do we do this?

In every culture, ancient and modern, the need to make sense of our world has been documented in myth. Joseph Campbell’s brilliant work details the patterns associated with how humans choose to document their existence over time. He mapped this common thread to articulate what we now know to be the ‘Hero’s Journey’. This pattern of storytelling is so strongly imprinted in the human psyche that movies such as Star Wars, The Matrix and Lord of the Rings can all attribute their box office success in part to Joseph Campbell’s work. In addition to our comfort with well-crafted stories, the degree to which you feel in control over outcomes or events in your life i.e. locus of control is a significant factor.

What’s the bottom line?

In my experience, when horrible things happen to me or somebody that I love, there is an overwhelming need to declare it as unfair. Feeling ripped off or hard done by is part of being human, but it really isn’t helpful. Having helped many people work through various challenges, the sooner somebody can get to the point of objectively observing what happens without judgement or the need to explain it or justify it, the better. As cold and detached as it sounds, people die, bad things happen but life goes on. If you attach meaning to what happens, you’ll spend the rest of your life in a washing machine of emotional turmoil.

How can I stop giving things meaning?

Once people recognise what’s going on, I feel it’s important to provide a practical way to help manage the challenge that comes with the insight that life is somewhat meaningless. A great technique I use is to recall an event as though it is a movie that you can pause, rewind, fast-forward or put in slow motion as desired. The trick here is to ensure that you watch the movie as though you were a critic, being as objective as possible. In doing this, you note exactly what was said (not what you thought was said), exactly what happened (not what you think happened). While this sounds easy, you’ll likely struggle to disentangle your tendency to hear what you want to hear, see what you want to see and recall events in a way that supports your conclusions. If you can just watch the ‘movie’ play out and press pause when needed, you’ll find you can take things as they are, rather than extrapolate meaning.

My insight

While I still experience the ups and downs that come with life, I no longer personify the universe by labelling it as a dick. I don’t believe that there is an almighty being writing the script that will be my life, nor that the universe is conspiring to help me achieve my purpose. The only dick featured in my past was me….not wanting to take responsibility for my own actions, accountability for my choices and choosing to blame others (or the universe) when bad things transpire. The insight experienced by the storytellers on the TV series ‘I shouldn’t be alive’ is remarkably similar for everyone, despite them having very different stories to tell. They all say they have gratitude for being alive, being able to smile, to laugh, to be with those that they love and have the freedom to make choices. There is rarely a reason or explanation behind why things happen, stop wasting your time trying to figure it all out and simply live.

The Magic of Fire

It felt late at night, I glanced at my watch to discover that it was only 8:47pm. There was something magical about fire…how it soothes one's soul, warms one's heart and calms one's mind. While it seemed as though I'd been staring into its playful rhythm for hours on end…barely 10 minutes had passed. It was a cold still night, and earlier I'd decided to build a nice campfire to lift my spirits following on from the past couple of days. This trip was supposed to be my chance to get away from it all and enrich myself with the basics, experiencing nature and eating simple food. Instead, I'd spent two days enduring some fierce weather that involved gale force winds, horizontal rain and less than ideal temperatures. Having endured all that mother nature could throw at me, it felt natural to want to enrich my experience by building a fire.

A task I normally take for granted, turned out to be a challenge that I hadn't anticipated. What is normally as easy as striking a match was now being hindered by the environment, a cold, wet and overall unpleasant campsite. I couldn't help but get annoyed with myself as I brought this suffering into my world. As it happened, the holiday I was seeking turned into the challenge that preventing me from experiencing the nourishment that I thought I so desperately needed. How is it that my planned escape from reality would unearth a new level of suffering when I was meant to be enjoying myself?.... Wrong question! At that point, I realised, by questioning why I wasn't enjoying myself I was becoming a victim of the situation, held hostage to the weather. I could only blame myself which ultimately, led me to more suffering. The better question to ask myself turned out to be far simpler. I was bloody cold, my socks were wet and I was getting more depressed by the minute. I really needed to make a fire…but it seemed hopeless. The right question was "Based on this crappy situation where all the kindling is wet and I have no dry wood, how do I get a bloody fire started?" It was at this point…at the threshold of giving up that it clicked for me. I discovered the magic of fire…..even in the absence of a flame.

"The right question was "Based on this crappy situation where all the kindling is wet and I have no dry wood, how do I get a bloody fire started?" It was at this point…at the threshold of giving up that it clicked for me. I discovered the magic of fire…..even in the absence of a flame."

After gorging myself with toasted marshmallows and hot chocolate the night before, I emerge from my not so dry tent to a smouldering pile of ash with no wood to get the fire started again. The reality was, my environment was constantly shifting and there was a rhythm within the complexity of the shift. Once I'd been camping for a week, I finally got into the discipline of searching for wood the day before I needed it, knowing that I'd be able to capitalise on the hot embers from the previous night in order to build up the fire again the following day. My focus had now shifted from creating fire to one of sustaining fire.

A fire has the power to mesmerize the most active mind and inspire hope in those that feel demoralised. The challenge to get a fire started is fuelled by anticipation of what that fire will create for you. I'd argue that one of the most powerful skills a person can ever learn is how to generate a fire both literally and figuratively. It is a fire that provides us with warmth, the ability to cook our food and provide light for us to see. Regardless of what is happening around you, a fire has an uncanny ability to bring people together in a way that encourages friendship and collaboration.

My experience got me thinking about organisational culture and more specifically, how we create that same magic that fire inspires in a business context.

Most organisational change stories can be linked back to a visionary CEO that paved we way through great leadership and a relentless focus on people. Unfortunately, like in the academic world, we don't ever hear about the many hundreds of unsuccessful experiments that never got published but simply hear about the one or two success stories that gain notoriety. Similarly, in the right conditions, the simple flick of a match can set fire to a blaze that can burn brilliantly without much effort whatsoever. The Australian bushland is notorious for its catastrophic bush fires that can even be a result of a rogue lightning strike.

 In contrast, a deliberate and orchestrated change in culture is all too often met with an insurmountable brick wall that further reinforces that change is hard, not for the faint-hearted, fails more often than it succeeds and for most…can't really be changed despite what all the culture change specialists tell us. Culture evolution on the other hand (non-deliberate) simply represents reality, the very nature of how we and the organisation as a system operate. It will change and must change…. regardless of how deliberately we direct or sculpt the shift. The distinction here is that the culture of an organisation is always changing whether we like it or not. The issue with traditional culture change is that it follows a linear ( from x to y, time 1 to time 2) change process for something that is constantly changing anyway. Simply put, if you know it's about to rain do you wash your car? If you're about to move to a new house would you change the layout of your bedroom? If your organisation is about to go through a restructure do you pull everyone together for a team building offsite?

Back to my analogy of fire……too often, culture is limited to a discussion that revolves around the immediate environment and what you get from it…be it experience or tangible "stuff". My desk, my fruit, my massage fairies, my manager, my team, my tasks, my car space, my salary, my processes, my systems…and the list goes on. How we currently conceptualise culture and the change we aspire to create is very much about what people "get" as a result of the change. WIIFM is the approach that most consultancies and HR practitioners use to determine if people are going to jump on board the rusty old change bus they so religiously keep refuelling year after year. The reality is, the sooner that we see the environment as something that either fuels or hinders our culture, the better. In order to create something sustainable, the environment (emotional and physical) needs to be recognised as:

• Constantly in a state of flux and change so nothing stays the same

• A critical factor that influences my mindset, behaviour, and success

• Something that is within my control to enhance

When camping, fire is an essential ingredient to ensure that one returns home feeling fully rejuvenated. Ever tried camping in the rain? More specifically, ever tried lighting a fire when you are camping and it just so happens to be raining? Yeah……not the most fun you've had I'm sure. What's more, is the need for fire when it's raining is so much greater. You are most likely wet and cold and can't find any dry wood….so it's hard to get that first spark going. Even if you do happen to get a flame going, keeping it going is even harder!

Applying this thinking within organisations, we are only ever setting camp up temporarily (ok so I'm sure there are a few ‘lifers' out there challenging this notion, but for most, they join an organisation knowing that it's not forever). We know it's going to be an experience, we know we need to generate a fire and we know we will need to take our constantly changing environment into consideration in order to do so. We also know if we depend on anyone else to build a fire for us or expect that it's already going to be lit and sustained before we get to camp…..we may have made some pretty poor assumptions.

"We also know if we depend on anyone else to build a fire for us or expect that it's already going to be lit and sustained before we get to camp…..we may have made some pretty poor assumptions."

The truth is, before you build a fire, you need to survey the environment when you arrive. Often, we have an idea of what the environment is like but when we finally arrive at our destination, we see it for what it is. Are you experiencing a cold, wet, dark, windy campsite that is positioned smack bang on top of a smelly quagmire? If so, you know that starting a fire is 1) super important and 2) bloody difficult. The first thing you need to do is think about how you can increase your chances of being successful in getting the fire started because another certainty is that anyone else on the campsite is going to be facing the same challenges.

While fire certainly feels magic….there are some tangible steps you can take to build one.

• Step 1- Build a shelter: It doesn't need to be grand, but you do need somewhere that you can get out of the elements and enable yourself to start the process of creating a fire.
• Step 2- Gather some fuel: You need the fuel to get a fire cranking ready to go. Ideally, this is as dry as possible and starting with small kindling, increases incrementally as the fire increases in size.
• Step 3- Create a spark to get things cranking: The first spark is the hardest and will need fine attention to detail to ensure that it takes. This takes perseverance and patients when facing off against the elements. As painful as it is, you can't skip past this step and come back to it later.
• Step 4- Build it up and sustain: Now that you've got a good flame going, you need to carefully stack the wood on (without smothering it) to ensure that it builds up to the desired intensity. It's easy to get carried away at this stage and overdo it….either burning through all of your fuel unsustainably or snuffing it out completely.
• Step 5- Sit back and bask in the magic: Once you've got it cranking and found a rhythm and balance for the amount of fuel you need to keep feeding it, you can sit back relax and bust out the marshmallows. It's time to bask in the warmth that it throws offs, stare into the endless complexity and predictable unpredictability of the flames, share stories, laugh, engage and ultimately nourish yourself.

Rather than seeing the responsibility of culture as an HR thing or something that the CEO has to drive, think of culture as a whole group of people collectively taking responsibility for their own campsite, knowing full well that if they don't take the necessary steps to ensure they can build a fire in their current environment, they are likely going to get cold, have no light and nothing to eat. Having said all of that, if someone is in despair, there is usually a few free spots around the campfire for those in need. It takes nothing away from the fire to have an extra person experience its warmth.

My challenge to you…..take a look right now at your environment. What's the lay of the land….is there a storm coming? Are you experiencing a considerably frosty winter? Or is the environment more like the Australian bushland in the middle of January, hot dry and ready to burn? Regardless, you need to take the necessary steps to identify what it will take for you to understand your current situation, search for the necessary fuel and shelter, create the spark that takes you from the hope of generating fire to the reality of sustaining the level of light and warmth that you need. This is not a set-and-forget exercise but something that you need to adopt as part of your daily discipline. If you don't continually monitor your fire, you'll either end up burnt or your fire will simply flare up and go out.