Joe Hart 13/5/20 Joe Hart 13/5/20

Who needs coaching anyway?

The obvious answer to this question is everyone. However, there is a bit more to it than that. First and foremost, the coachee is taking on the role of a learner, and as with any type of learning you need to be up for it. When I was completing my Higher School Certificate (HSC), I recall how disengaged I was in my English class, reluctantly reading ‘Macbeth’ and ‘The Crucible’ in what felt like some sort of punishment. Ironically, once I completed my final exams I had a stack of books beside my bed that included ‘The catcher in the rye’, ‘Crime and punishment’, ‘In the skin of a lion’ ‘Doors of perception’ and ‘A clockwork orange’. Clearly, my choice in books following the HSC rules out avoiding a challenging read. The only thing that shifted is my mindset. Specifically, it was that I got to choose what I wanted to learn.

In my last article, I explored what coaching is and how it might benefit anyone that is curious. Following on from this, I wanted to explore the question of who might need it.

Mindset Matters

When engaging with your coach, if you feel as though you are being given the ‘required reading’ it’s never going to work. You need to want to learn, engage, and be willing to experiment with your coach. I recently wrote an article entitled ‘How coachable are you?’ detailing the traits that I believe lead to a successful coaching experience when embodied by both coach and coachee. Above all else, coaching will be rewarding when grounded on openness, curiosity, and a willingness to learn. In addition, below is a list of common patterns of behaviour that I know can benefit from the value coaching has to offer. I’m not a big fan of labels, but it does help people identify and diagnose where they, or somebody they know, tends to fit. Have a look at the below descriptors and see if you can identify your patterns of behaviour.

Personality Matters

The Floater - This is somebody feeling disengaged with their work, their relationships and their life in general. They don’t feel like anything is wrong as such, but they lack purpose and conviction in what they do. They want more out of life but they’re also comfortable. Deep down they know they are missing out but struggle to conjure up the motivation to do anything about it. They often say to themselves ‘Is this it?….I expected more out of life’. With the right coach, they will re-connect with what energizes them and start contributing to their own life again.

The Self Saboteur - There are many and varied reasons why these people engage in self-sabotage, but they do. This can look like staying out late before an important meeting, presentation or interview, to speaking poorly about their friends or colleagues behind their backs. They actively jeopardise their personal relationships with risky behaviour, emotionally charged attacks and combative discussion. They know that they are ‘out of line’ but just aren’t sure how to control themselves. They often describe themselves as their own worst enemies and greatly benefit from the support and guidance offered by a coach.

The Imposter - They may or may not be suffering from what’s commonly known as ‘Imposter Syndrome’ but they definitely question their capability. They often find themselves asking ‘why me?’ if selected to lead an important project or take on a leadership role. Their humility works against them and tends to erode their confidence to the point that others take note. A coach will challenge them to lead more powerfully, doing away with any self-doubt.

The Know-it-all - These are the last people on the planet that will voluntarily seek out coaching. That is of course because they believe they have nothing to learn. They appear pompous, arrogant, aloof and are often very clever in a book smart sort of way. Vulnerability is like their Kryptonite. They don’t like being around people that show vulnerability and cringe at the idea of being vulnerable themselves. Their self-awareness is typically low so should they engage in coaching, it will likely be a challenging road ahead for both coach and coachee.

The Go-Getter - Highly ambitious, these people are keen to use any advantage they can get to ensure they hit their goals. They are open to being challenged, want to know the answers and are eager to test things out. They are usually conscientious, driven, hard-working and fast-paced. Their hunger to learn is a great match for coaching as is the perspective they will gain from a skilled coach.

The Mentor - Whether they have the formal role of mentor or not, these are the people always counselling others, giving their time and energy to everyone around them. They love their role as an adviser but often describe having low levels of energy, high levels of frustration and find it difficult to ask for help. They are often more senior and have high levels of experience so their positioning in the organisation and in life makes it hard for them to seek support. A coach is critical for these people to ensure they can continue to provide their leadership to others without suffering exhaustion or burnout.

Context Matters

It addition to the behaviour patterns above, there are circumstances created by the environment that coaching can help with too. These include:

Change in job/role/career - This might be someone new to leadership, someone, that has been made redundant, someone looking to change their career or level up in their role. It can also include a leader looking to re-orient their team, engage their workforce or enhance the culture. When facing such challenges, a coach can help overcome blockers and navigate through the choppy waters.

Personal challenges - As much as some people like to believe that they can keep personal and work life separate, they can’t. This is especially true when your personal life falls apart. For most people, talking about their terminally ill parents, kids struggling with sexual identity, messy break-ups, financial problems, and overall family drama is not something to raise in the Monday morning meeting. While I’d like to think that managers out there can handle these types of conversations, many of us can present evidence to suggest otherwise. Having a coach enables people to express their challenges without feeling judged and to openly discuss what support is available to them. The difference a single conversation can make to a person can mean the difference between life and death. Unfortunately, we have a long way to go as a society in remedying this challenge.

Relationship Conflict - This largely depends on the experience of the coach, but odds are your coach has exceptional communication skills and is, therefore, able to help resolve relationship challenges. This is different to a formal mediation process initiated by Human Resources (which is, of course, the right thing to do when complaints have been raised). I’m referring to the point before the conflict is escalated so there is still hope of working through any differences. This can be between individuals or even for a whole team but certainly depends on the capability and experience of the coach.

Performance issues - This one comes with a caveat that a coach should never be used to replace the role of a manager. If however, there are known performance issues and the employee has been placed on a clear performance improvement plan, coaching is a powerful way for the organisation to demonstrate a genuine desire for them to succeed. The assumption here is that the employee acknowledges and agrees there is an issue with their performance and are committed to doing everything it takes to lift their game.

High performance - Unfortunately, when people and teams demonstrate great performance in their role or on a project, they are usually ‘rewarded’ with extra work due to their competence. They can sometimes be pushed into a leadership role before they are ready, commonly known as the ‘Peter Principle’. They get pushed and pulled around the organisation feeling pressured to maintain their reputation, slowly becoming less engaged. Too often, they are overlooked as candidates for coaching because their numbers are good, their projects are on time, and ‘you already have a plan’ for them. As a coach, what’s great about working with high performing people is they are so driven to improve. Giving them a coach is like fanning the flames of their personal growth and development.

As you can gather, coaching can be applied to a variety of personality types across a myriad of situations. What remains consistent in successful coaching engagements is the mindset of openness, curiosity and willingness to learn. If you’ve taken one thing from this article, I hope it’s strong agreement that coaching matters.

WANT TO EXPERIENCE COACHING?

Are you keen to explore coaching? Not sure if it’s right for you? Got someone in your team that you think could benefit? I know that making first contact can be tough, especially if you have doubts. Book in your obligation free first session to see if I’m the right fit for you.

Book in a free session here

NEED HELP WITH CULTURE, OR TEAM ENGAGEMENT?

As a registered Organisational Psychologist, I’ve got the skills and capability to help you master your culture and engagement challenges. I also spent 7 years working for GALLUP, a world leader in engagement, discovering the best strategies to engage your team, enhance productivity and increase profitability. Book in a call below to discuss how I can support you.

Free Culture and Engagement strategy session

Did you like this Article?

If you liked this article, have a look at some of my other articles here or sign-up to my list to receive my articles directly into your inbox each week. If you think someone might like to read them too, simply forward this email on to them.

Yes please, I want more articles!

CHECK-OUT WHAT ELSE I DO

I love writing articles but just in case you were wondering, it’s not all I do. Have a look at my website to discover some of my services, what my clients say about me, and some other interesting facts.

Learn more

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME

I’m fascinated with people, always have been and always will be. From a very early age, I keenly observed people, I was curious about what motivated them, what made them successful and why they made certain choices. This curiosity led me to study Psychology. After graduating with my Master of Organisational Psychology, I worked for Gallup, a global leader in engagement and strengths-based development. I became a strengths-based coach, engagement expert and worked with senior leaders all over the world.

If you’re curious about how I can help you personally or with the leadership of your team/organisation get in touch via my email: joe@joehart.com.au | website: joehart.com.au | Phone: +61425 224 825

Joe Hart 12/5/20 Joe Hart 12/5/20

What is coaching?

One of my colleagues once described coaching as "A conversation with yourself that you normally don't make time for". While I'm unsure of the source, I find it to be of the best descriptions in conveying the essence of what coaching is all about. Of course, many coaches take a more traditional 'instructional' approach to coaching which feels more like a parent barking orders at a child, or a manager telling employees what to do. While this works for some and will continue to have its place, it's not the type of coaching that I engage in.

For a moment, I'd like you to imagine being completely isolated and unable to speak with anyone. You are left with your thoughts, desires, regrets, aspirations, feelings, past failures and achievements. You have no contact with the outside world, no news, no TV, no books, no phone calls, just your thoughts accompanied by your voice inside your head, lonely and lost. After a period of isolation that feels a lot longer than it has been, you can take a walk in the park. Still, you have no contact with anybody, you are alone and quiet. As you walk through the meandering pathways, you notice the tall trees and the flame-coloured leaves falling in the Autumn breeze, feet crunching through the blanket of dry foliage already on the ground. You Notice a person sitting on a bench nearby on the other side of the park, smiling, eyes closed with their hands gently clasped over their belly, basking blissfully in the sun. You slowly approach then sit beside them hesitantly. After a few awkward moments, not knowing what to say, you shuffle in your seat, relax, then close your eyes and bask in the sun also. The warmth strokes your eyelids and feels so good, you feel safe, and at peace. You are no longer alone. When you open your eyes, the light is harsh, forcing you to squint. You glance at the seat beside you and see that they are gone "Not possible" you say to yourself "They were sitting right here beside me". You stand up hurriedly, elevated on your toes, you quickly scan the park to see where they have gone. You return to the bench, this time you slump, head in hands. While you are looking at the ground you notice the trail you left in the leaves, a clear impression made by your feet. You see no other trail or footprints, just yours. Then it suddenly dawns on you, it was you all along, you saw yourself, you sat with yourself, you enjoyed being with yourself, you led yourself, you were never alone.

I wrote the above short story in an attempt to convey the enigma of what coaching feels like, knowing that it feels a little different for everybody. It can be confusing, challenging, strange, heartwarming, enlightening, and empowering all at the same time. Above all else, coaching is unique to you. If you are willing and courageous enough to see yourself in everything that you do, you will grow. One of my colleagues once described coaching as "A conversation with yourself that you normally don't make time for". While I'm unsure of the source, I find it to be of the best descriptions in conveying the essence of what coaching is all about. Of course, many coaches take a more traditional 'instructional' approach to coaching which feels more like a parent barking orders at a child, or a manager telling employees what to do. While this works for some and will continue to have its place, it's not the type of coaching that I engage in.

I align with the philosophy of enabling people to be 'all of who they are' but first it requires 'meeting my clients where they are at'. I've recently been watching the Netflix series 'The Last Dance' which features the coaching relationship between Michael Jordan and Phil Jackson. Following his first NBA championship victory in 1991 with the Chicago Bulls, as Michael Jordan celebrates, Phil Jackson says "You did it the right way". Phil Jackson was the first coach that didn't want to give Michael Jordan the ball all the time. Understandably, Jordan was frustrated by this as he was the most talented player on the team. It took three years, but through Phil Jackson's coaching, Michael Jordan learned that by lifting the capability of his teammates and being selfless with the ball he enabled the team and his leadership to elevate. Indeed, the winning points were not scored by Michael Jordan but were scored off a pass he assisted, hence Phil Jackson's comment that "You did it the right way".

Now for the more formal definition. Coaching is a development process that involves the expert use of questions, discussion, clarification, activities, feedback and thought experiments to shift perspectives, find clarity and achieve outcomes. Coaching is typically conducted with two people, the coach and the learner, or otherwise known as the coachee. However, coaching can be done with multiple coachee's and in many cases, a coach works with an entire team. Coaching is a broad discipline and as such, anyone with expertise in their chosen field can be classified as a coach. You find coaches in Sports, the Arts (such as voice coaching, presentation skills, acting, body language etc., Business, Education, Politics, Health care, and Personal relationships (and I'm sure there are more that I haven't mentioned here).

While the application is vast, the common thread is the two-way exchange of dialogue that enables a coachee to improve or enhance their understanding, insight, capability and confidence in at least one domain of expertise. Take, for example, a young athlete that is showing early promise of becoming an Olympic runner, they will likely engage a coach to ensure that they continue to improve their skills to reach their maximum potential. Similarly, coaching can also be effective in supporting a student that is struggling with mathematics to improve their understanding so they can progress their studies. Equally, a coach may be deemed necessary in the business context to help a new manager succeed in handling the additional responsibilities thrust upon them in their leadership role. At the core of it, each of the coachees mentioned above is looking to improve. Whether that be from a baseline that is below or above average, they are all seeking support and guidance to enhance their capability. In other words, they are all seeking to become all of who they already are or reach their full potential.