The Truth Hurts: Moving out of Blissful Ignorance

‘Truth’, is something that philosophers and psychologists have been debating for millennia and will most likely still be debating it for millennia to come. I too have been seduced by the concept of truth for my whole life…particularly the paradox of truth. By this I mean, how being honest or truthful often translates into the end of a relationship, conflict at work, or an identity crisis, or the uncovering of something you wish you could unlearn! If being honest or truthful carries with it the foundation of integrity, why does it lead to so much challenge? The answer, which I believe to be true (see what I did there!), lies in perspective.

For example, self-awareness is characterised as one’s ability to align actions with one’s own internal values or standards. Additionally, someone who is highly self-aware will be able to objectively evaluate themselves and correctly understand how they are perceived by others.  Based on the above definition, I want you to rate yourself using the following scale. See fig 1.

Fig 1. Self Awareness Scale. Please rate yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 using the statements on either end of the scale to guide your responses. To calculate your overall Self Awareness, simply average all ratings out of 10.

Without knowing you, your aspirations, values, personality type, sexual preferences or IQ, I can confidently assume that your self-rating landed between 5 and 8 out of 10. The reason for this is due to a cognitive bias explained by the Dunning-Kruger effect. This is the tendency to overestimate our ability particularly when our ability is low. This can show up in all areas of our lives like our driving, intelligence, athleticism, and attractiveness just to name a few. Our ability to see ourselves in truth i.e. our actual ability, capability, intelligence, athleticism or awareness is masked by our cognitive biases. While having an inflated sense of your ability to sing or play tennis on the weekend comes with very little consequence for our success in life (unless you’ve chosen to be a professional singer or tennis player) there are other areas where the impact on results come at a far greater cost.

In the context of leadership, be it self-leadership, team leadership or leading an entire organisation, self-awareness is a critical ability for any leader to master. Moreover, self-awareness is arguably one of the most important skills for anyone to master regardless of their leadership level. In my work with people as an Organisational Psychologist, there are three questions I’ve spent much of my working life trying to answer. 1) What makes some people more self-aware than others?  2) Is it possible for anyone to enhance their self-awareness or become more self-aware? 3) Does increasing a person’s self-awareness translate to positive results in a business context?

The answer, thus far, to the first two questions comes down to a person’s ability to acquire, accept, and actualise feedback. While there are differences in self-awareness based on IQ and personality factors, the differences are not meaningful. Through experience, we gain or lose confidence which tends to affect our level of self-awareness. If we show up with an inflated sense of confidence, our actual ability won’t correlate (blissfully ignorant). Conversely, if we have a wealth of experience our confidence will likely be high and correlate significantly with our actual ability (Consciously masterful). See fig 2.

Fig 2. The relationship between Confidence and Actual Performance. Joe Hart 2020.

The process of maintaining or developing a supreme level of self-awareness requires the same three components. 1) To acquire feedback from those you deal with. 2) Accept the feedback as a valid perspective to be considered. 3) To put into action or Actualise the feedback you have received. While this three-part formula appears intuitive and simple, don’t be deceived. Each component requires large doses of curiosity, humility, and courage. We all like to think we are better than we are and to be honest, it’s an ego affirming state-of-mind. I’ve often had challenging conversations with leaders followed by them stating “thanks for letting me know…but I think I preferred being blissfully ignorant”. I too have personally faced the dilemma of gaining self-awareness to only create a desire to turn the clock back to revert to blissful ignorance. The reason why blissful ignorance is so appealing is that it takes no effort, it feeds on our laziness and reinforces that we don’t need to do anything. Equally, conscious mastery can only be achieved through a relentlessly iterative process of lessons learned, application of knowledge, experimentation and above all…hard work. Given the choice, most people will opt for the chronic but bearable dull ache that comes with never achieving one’s potential rather than the acutely painful experiences that equate to personal growth. What’s more interesting is if asked what’s more important, most people will acknowledge that personal growth rates higher on the life fulfilment scale than coasting through life without significant challenge. On this last point, we can begin to answer the third question; Does increasing self-awareness translate to positive results in a business context?

My answer is no, not by itself. I have numerous examples of people that I have coached that one could argue have increased their self-awareness remarkably over a relatively short period. Despite their new-found insight, they harboured no strong desire to accept nor actualise the feedback they had received. When this occurs, sadly but not surprisingly, their performance in a business context usually decreases. To understand this, I look at the concept of employee surveys usually run by Human Resources to provide a snapshot of how people are feeling. If the organisation seeks feedback (acquires) but does not accept or actualise the results. The response from employees is usually one of “why did I bother wasting my time doing that survey if they aren’t going to do anything”.

Applying this same insight to a leader seeking feedback to improve, if they do nothing with the feedback, those involved in providing their perspective will begin to wonder why they bothered or if the leader even wanted to change in the first place. Even more simply put, it takes more than just asking for feedback to improve. You need to do something with the perspective you are given.

What then is Truth?

Truth is found through the process of acquiring, accepting and actualising the perspective that others provide you. This true perspective you receive is only half the battle…it’s what you do with that perspective that leads to results. This same truth applies to improvement in every aspect of who we are and what we do. Whether it be a karate grading, writing a book, submitting a tender for a large piece of work, a final exam, an audition for the lead role, a job interview, or even receiving treatment for a life-threatening disease, these tests all carry the same truth. They are all hard work. They all require you to step outside of yourself and truly see yourself as you are. To grow, expand and achieve results, first requires you to see yourself the way the rest of the world sees you. Only from this ‘True Perspective’ are you able to lead with the truth.

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