We all need a bit of True Perspective
About five years ago, I was working with a talented CEO to help increase the effectiveness of their organisation. After measuring the organisation’s engagement and debriefing the executive team on the scores, we agreed that rolling out team workshops with all employees was the best next step. Throughout the process of rolling out the workshops, it became blatantly obvious that leaders and their teams were not skilled at or ready to have honest conversations with each other.During one of our coaching sessions, the CEO confessed that the executive team were amongst the worst offenders when it came to telling each other what they wanted to hear vs what they needed to hear. Moreover, the CEO was pretty certain with each of the executives, rarely did they present the truth or raise difficult matters. When it comes down to it, as human beings we fear conflict and our brains have evolved to avoid threat at all costs i.e. fight or flight response. Due to this, we are really good at pussyfooting around issues, avoiding conflict and overall, keeping the peace. While this feels good in the moment, it ultimately delays the inevitable; addressing the elephant in the room. In behavioural economics, this is a form of cognitive bias known as system justification or more simply put, maintaining the status quo because that is perceived as 'easier' than the alternative.This common truth that people generally don’t like to have difficult conversations illustrates one of the biggest paradoxes I’ve come across in human behaviour. That is, we are all seeking to be the best version of ourselves, asking for feedback in order to increase our performance, in yet when asked to provide our perspective, we retreat back to safety in order to preserve our relationships. If you want some True Perspective, you need to be willing to give it.As an organisational psychologist and performance coach, I help people gain True Perspective. True Perspective is the balance between how you view yourself with how others view you. In other words, when you have true perspective the status quo is challenged, the vail is lifted and for the first time you’ll be able to see yourself the way the rest of the world does.Here are a couple of points to note:
- Be warned, True Perspective may be hard to hear and you may not like what you ‘see in the mirror’ but it’s what you do what that True Perspective that matters
- If you want True Perspective, be willing to give it back to others. If you aren’t willing to have the honest conversation with others, they won’t bother having it with you.
- If you think you already have True Perspective and you don’t need it, you’re most likely deluded. Like everything that takes expertise, you can’t practice this on your own. Due to our ‘clever’ brains, we can’t gauge our own True Perspective. It has to come from an objective source.
- If you love giving True Perspective but ‘shut the door’ on any that comes back your way I challenge you to challenge yourself first, then challenge others.