The air was thick with heat, that oppressive muggy heat that completely saps your energy. I was walking home from school, my legs flopping about beneath my body reluctantly following the orders coming from my brain. As I arrived home I made my way around the back of the house eagerly anticipating the daily ritual of a bowl of Weet-bix in front of the TV to watch cartoons. Without warning, as if I’d been struck by a poison dart that disabled all of my muscles, I couldn’t move. I was completely and utterly frozen with fear. About two metres in front of me, perched on the wall was a giant Grasshopper….yes, a Grasshopper. Before you laugh, let me explain. These grasshoppers were no ordinary insect. They were massive brown alien-looking creatures that had giant wings and could fly great distances. If you’ve never seen one, have a look at the images below.

Some people refer to them as locusts and they have the capability to destroy whole crops when they swarm in large numbers. Despite all of this, I’m yet to read about anyone that has suffered severe injury or death from a grasshopper! Initially, I wasn’t scared of them at all but after repeated exposure to running the gauntlet (the pathway up the side of the house) where grasshoppers would jump unpredictably off the wall into my face and hair, I’d become fearful. In fact, I started to develop anxiety about walking up the side of the house. I dreaded that part of my daily journey home more than anything. I started questioning why I was afraid of a pesky grasshopper and thought there was something wrong with me. I tried to convince myself that there was nothing to be scared of, but the mere sight of a grasshopper was enough to make me freeze in my tracks, elevate my heart rate, and shorten my breath.

The brain at work

Years later, when studying the psychobiology of memory and motivation at university, I learned about how the brain responds to threat (perceived or actual). In my case, a bad grasshopper season had exposed me to the perils of being ‘attacked’ while walking up the pathway at the side of the house. Over time, my brain had learned to generate a fear response when I spotted a grasshopper. Before I was even consciously aware of a grasshopper, like a sixth sense, my body would activate the fight, flight or freeze response. This all kicks off in a brain structure called the Amygdala, the emotional centre of the brain. The Amygdala is fantastic at responding to life-threatening situations by making our bodies jump out of the way of an oncoming car, hide from a person that is wanting to do us harm or run like hell from a vicious dog. It does a brilliant job of keeping us safe when there is no time to think through a logical response. The problem emerges when our well-meaning Amygdala starts activating stress responses to non-life threatening situations. The outcome? Anxiety disorders, panic attacks, agoraphobia and generalised withdrawal. The function of the Amygdala and how it has benefited mammals for millions of years is now becoming a maladaptive process in modern society. As an executive coach and psychologist, anxiety is something that I come across very regularly. It’s not always extreme to the point of severe panic attacks but it’s definitely enough to have a negative impact on your quality of life, relationships and ability to be productive.

Breaking the fear

That same summer, when my fear of grasshoppers was at its height and the shame I felt about being scared of grasshoppers was starting to wear me down, something really interesting happened. We had a relief teacher, Mr Shepperd, taking our class. He was a calm and grounded teacher. He had a reassuring presence about him that I really liked.   One day as the class was walking through the school toward the sports oval, Mr Shepperd was reminding us of the rules of dodge ball when I noticed one of the biggest ugliest Grasshoppers I’d ever seen attached the pole, right next to his head. One of the other kids in the class pointed at the Grasshopper to warn Mr Shepperd, who kept on talking while he casually grabbed the pest, twisted it’s head off like he would the cap of a beer then chucked it in the garden. At that moment, my admiration for Mr Shepperd experienced an exponential increase. Additionally, that single act that was so unexpected and powerfully disruptive served as a circuit breaker for my brain. It was as though my emotional triggers had been demoted and my logical brain now had a voice. From that point onward, when faced with a grasshopper all I could think about was Mr Shepperd twisting its head off. It was a brilliant example of how a learned pattern of behaviour was disrupted through unexpected and novel exposure that helped enable me to rewire my brain. If however, Mr Shepperd let out a shriek upon seeing the grasshopper and took three steps backward, my fear response would have been reinforced and consolidated further. It may have lead to fear so great that I would need clinical treatment such as medication and exposure therapy!

What’s the point of this story?

While Grasshoppers may not be scary to you, the truth is, you are definitely fearful of certain things. If not, you’d likely be dead already because it’s fear that keeps us safe. The major challenge today is that most of what we fear involves situations that are not life-threatening at all…such as, getting stuck in an elevator, being in a large crowd of people, public speaking, asking a ‘dumb question’ in a room full of senior executives, challenging your boss, losing your mobile phone, not having access to the internet or preparing for you next performance review. Before you judge, these are all real examples that I’ve discussed with my clients that evoke physiological responses similar to those that you might experience when faced with real danger.  What’s worse is that common way of dealing with such fears is to avoid them completely. While this seems smart it acts to reinforce the learned fear response so if you ever get presented with a situation you can’t avoid, you’re likely to experience panic. This avoidance tactic also reinforces the notion that it’s ok to stay comfortable and not push yourself to grow, expand and develop. In other words, you get to be a bit lazy which your brain loves!

Circuit break your discomfort

When you’ve recognised that your fear response is entirely generated by you and that your brain has established a connection between a stimulus (like a grasshopper) and a physiological response (freezing and elevated heart rate), you’re able to break the pattern. Once you’ve broken or disrupted the pattern, you’re able to start training your brain to respond in a different way.

• Get your body back in balance- When you’re experiencing a physiological response it can be confusing and scary. Furthermore, there’s nothing logical or rational about what is happening. The most important thing to do at this moment is to activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest function). If your body’s out of whack, your mind won’t be much use. Common techniques to get this happening involve progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, going for a brisk walk or swim, and various mindfulness exercises to name a few. For those that know me well, I use juggling as a technique to reset the mind and body to bring it back into balance. The benefit of juggling is that it requires all of your attention so it prevents you from focussing on that which is triggering your fear response. At this point, I do want to point out that we are all a bit different, so if meditation actually frustrates you, then it’s not going to be very helpful. If you’re more of an active person, then maybe going for a run or swim is a better option. There is no rule book….so you’ll have to experiment to figure out what works best for you.

• Face your fear- Once your back into balance physically, it’s time to challenge yourself by exposing yourself to the Grasshopper! As hard as it might seem, it’s the only way you are going to circuit break your fear and create a new association in your brain. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll have someone role model facing their fears for you, as Mr Shepperd did for me. You’ll likely need a bit of support and encouragement from people that have your back, but with a bit of courage, you’ll be able to make some great progress.

• Don’t settle, seek growth- Part of the core issue underlying the irrational fears we develop is our tendency to retreat, withdraw and retire. All of this is about shrinking who you are as a person, settling for mediocrity and complacency. Our brains have evolved to keep our bodies fat and safe with the least amount of effort. Modern society provides the perfect opportunity to achieve both with next to no effort at all. Rather than succumb to the seduction of lazing about, take a stand to outgrow your fears by tackling them head-on. If you need support to do this, don’t hesitate to ask for help. In my experience, trying to tough it out is a mistake almost every leader I know has made. When things aren’t going well for you, use your support network shamelessly…that’s what it is for.

For those of you that have suffered from severe anxiety and/or depression, please don’t take my recommendations as judgement. There are differing degrees of severity and you need to seek support that matches your condition. For severe cases, the intervention of a clinical psychologist, GP, and Psychiatrist are essential. If however, you’re experiencing a physical response that doesn’t match the situation (such as increased heart rate, sweating, shortness of breath), have a go at getting your body back into balance first so you can challenge your fears, not run from them.

So…..What’s the difference between a Grasshopper and a performance review?

So, to answer the question in the title of this article, what’s the difference between a Grasshopper and a performance review? If they both trigger a physiological response to fight, flee or freeze, then there’s no difference at all. They both represent a learned response that doesn’t always appear to be logical from an outsider’s perspective. If you’ve never experienced some of the reactions I’ve discussed in this article, then I encourage you to empathise with the physical response a person might be having and help them get the support they need. The last thing they need is somebody to reinforce what they are already telling themselves….that they should be able to handle a bit of stress here and there. The issue with this line of thinking is that it’s logical. When your Amygdala hijacks your brain, your body has no choice but to follow commands that have kept our species thriving for millennia. It’s usually those people that have something to prove to themselves or somebody else that will bunker down for the long haul. While admirable, it’s a path to extreme suffering that leads to devastation for them and their families. If you or somebody you know appears to be struggling, show a bit of love and support by getting them some help.

If you’re not sure where to look but are wanting some information, head to https://headtohealth.gov.au/service-providers for some great resources and links to mental health providers in Australia. Many of the resources and support services are free of charge and confidential.